10 Worst Beers You Should Avoid in College
1. Natural Ice – A.K.A. “Natty Ice” or simply “Natty”, this piss also comes as Natural Light. This beer is the closest you can get to tasting like sour water that’s been sitting in the pipes of an abandoned house for 5 years without actually giving yourself stomach ulcers. Although it might actually be too soon to declare that second part. If you want to be known as the trashy southern kid with an alcoholic father and an all-around girl-repellent, go for this one. (Coor’s version would be KeyStone Light.)
2. Olde English 800 – Okay, let’s go ahead and include ALL other so-called “malt liquors” including Mickey’s, Hurricane Ice, Big Bear, Colt 45, and whatever that other green s**t is that they sell at 7/11 stores. Take all the judgements mentioned above but tack on “cheapass” and you will inch closer to the type of reputation you will radiate by drinking this crap. And you thought vodka was the poor man’s drink…
3. Busch – The only beer that gives you the shits immediately after consumption. At least they deserve a medal for something.
4. Pabst Blue Ribbon – Normally I’d chalk up PBR to the likes of Budweiser, Coors, and Miller – mediocre, but doable. But the fact that the entire goddamn world of hipsters and d********s has revived this shitty beer into some sort of trendy beverage disgusts me. Jesus Christ, seriously? Why can’t all you indie kids just stick to Red Stripe, which is at least somewhat decent?
4. Old Milwaukee, Milwaukee’s Best, Etc – I don’t know what the hell kind of city Milwaukee is, but I’m putting my money on “shithole” based on the fact that any beer with Milwaukee in it’s name smells like a vagina in the middle of a rancid yeast infection.
5. MGD 64, and all other “low calorie” beers – Only in America could beer companies like Miller who are already selling pure piss figure out a way to water things down further and STILL come out with a profit. Applies to Coors Aspen Edge, Sleeman Clear Lager, and dozens more.
6. Bud Light Lime, Bud Light Chelada – Holy hell. The only thing worse than drinking pee is drinking spicy sour pee. You’d think that instead of masking the lack of flavor with fragrances that closely resemble stomach acid, these “breweries” might try to… nope. Nevermind.
7. Fruity Beers – Before you post some gay-ass comment about how Sam Adams Cherry Wheat is “kinda good actually!” let me just shut you up right there. I don’t give a rat’s. There are some things that simply don’t belong in a brew, no matter how shitty a company it is. Included on the list is fruit, chili (i.e. Cave Creek Chili Beer), coffee (i.e. Redhook Double Black Stout), and vitamins (i.e. Winter Park Beer… WTF?). If you want to enjoy one of these b******s in the comfort and privacy of your own home, then please do so. But don’t go turning the world into a bunch of faggots in public. Please. Please.
8. Latino Beers – If your climate is too muggy to properly grow wheat and hops, and you are too poor to import quality ingredients, well, it’s a disaster waiting to happen. We’ve got Corona from Mexico, Salva Vida from Honduras, Imperial from Costa Rica, and the list goes on and on. Pretty much all beers south of the border come in bottles that look like they were manufactured in the 1950s and taste a bit like cardboard mixed with small bits of cocaine. And no, that’s not a good thing.
9. Red Dog – When the only thing going for a beer is that when you look at their logo upside down it looks like Batman eating out Catwoman, it should be a major red flag. Although maybe not.
10. Schlitz – Just saying this word make you feel like a total faggot, or child molester, or perhaps both. Especially when its one of the only beers for sale in Provincetown, MA. It doesn’t help that its fizzier than a broken Coke fountain. You’ve been warned.
Dishonorable mention: Any beer made in Korea. (Hite, OB, etc.)
What beers would you add to or remove from this list? Comment below!
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Any and all kinds of Japanese beer. Especially Orion and kirin. It smells like sewage and tastes like it too. Worst beer I’ve ever had (with the exception of Sweet Baby Jesus which is peanut butter flavored beer)
I LIKE PIE!
Drinking PBR is like ingesting carbonated vomit out of a can only to ironically vomit it back up, and it just tastes like double vomit.
I just stick with budweiser in bottles, taste good, good buzz, not too expensive. I stay away the cheaper stuff mostly because it makes me feel like crap, not just the hangover but the intoxication too. Tired headache dehydrated makes you wonder what they put in those cheap ass beers acetone?? Now the expensive stuff is almost as worst bitter or just weird tasting I don’t get it. I will mention for some reason Budweiser and most beers in the 24/25oz cans usually taste like s**t not sure why. Kind of a dirty metallic taste.
natty ice is nice
Someone needs to put that nuclear waste horse piss make me vomit special on the list = Samuel Adams. If this crap is beer I’ll kiss their asses in public. That crap is by far the nastiest s**t I have ever tasted. I don’t think if they added a turd to each bottle could make it any worse. A plain ol’ Michelob is 1000 times better.
Sam Adams is probably rolling in his grave that someone named that crap after him!
Yea this kid is a idiot . best beer are imported tsingtao, negra modelo, hieniken I guess you can not be a judge if your the type too freeload cheap beer . I don’t try week s**t and I don’t follow anyone so if someone like him was next to me at a bar ranting s**t out his ass all I’ll do is laugh and enjoy my crisp 5.4 % beer . if I said I have a list of every girl not to date I’m the idiot for settling for less. I’m happy to say I will never try any of the beers he named . quality over quantity . !!
your a bigot. really!? all latino beers and korean beers are bad? and God forbid we should drink a beer that will turn the world into a bunch of faggots. ur a fucking dumbass
I think everything said made a great deal of sense. However,
consider this, what if you added a little content?
I am not saying your information isn’t solid, however what if you added something that makes people desire
more? I mean 10 Worst Beers You Should Avoid in College – CollegeTimes is a
little plain. You might glance at Yahoo’s home page and see
how they create post titles to get people to open the links.
You might add a video or a related picture or two to grab readers excited about everything’ve written. In my opinion, it would bring your website a little bit more interesting.
This guy don’t know what he’s talking about, his palate still has residue of his uncle’s, daddies, his uncle’s uncle’s and even all the way up to his great great great grandfather’s cock, you can’t trust a tainted palate!
Latino beer ? You are fucking retarted lol as ignorant as it gets you dumb son of a b***h
totally agree. this guy has no clue!
probably written by some inbred potato eating caveman?
Whoever wrote this is obviously not educated in beer whatsoever. I’ve had at least 30 beers from mictobreweries that are a hell of a lot worse than half of these.
It’s not only that you’re not educated and beer but they’re also just not educated. And the kid has the balls to write on the college site what a fucking p it’s not only that you’re not educated and beer but they’re also just not educated. And the kid has the balls to write on the college site what a fucking putz I’ve seen smarter racist and antiemetic people with more brains then this guy. S**t maybe he forget to mention the whitest worst drink in the world Zima …… only way they are good is if u dropped a jolly rancher in it
Not your I meant he’s not educated damn voice to text
I drink “Racer 5” IPA to get a good buzz going. I work at a convienence store part-time so I get the five finger discount on any beer I choose. Sometimes it’s “Deschutes Fresh Squeezed IPA”. IPA’s have high alcohol content and get a good buzz going. Once in a while though, I throw back a Steel Reserve for nostalgic purposes.
What a shitty review. Whoever wrote this seriously sucks and has a very biased opinion. But you probably won’t publish my comment. You article sucks. A lot. Like you do. Baddddd.
Who the f**k drinks beer because it tastes good? Beer is supposed to taste like s**t, if it didn’t it’d be called soda. I ‘d rather pay eleven bucks for a thirty pack of Natural Ice and get fucked the f**k up than pay twelve bucks for a twelve pack of some other s**t with half the alcohol content and still tastes like ass. Beer is for getting drunk, period.
Lol you’re a bum…get some class
I drink it for both reasons. There are beers that are 14 percent alcohol. Yes they cost more, but they get you way drunker way faster. Taste way better too. I can drink like 6 in an hour and be shitfaced and not bloated. Natural Ice is cheap pussy beer…it would take me the full 30 pack just to feel buzzed. Literally only a few more dollars and almost triple the alcohol content…so you actually save money. That’s if you know the right places to buy beer.
Micro brews and the such are for married hen pecked guys who would have nothing else to talk about other than lawn fertilizer and minivans…
Who let this neckbeard post this autistic article 6 years ago. This is what happens when you fist google and pull out steaming s**t. Thanks for reminding me why freedom of speech can be cancer.
Well said sir
Lol 10 worst beers to avoid on college? Quit being a pussy and drink liquor or smoke weed you know something that doesn’t poison your body??
It’s essentially a personal preference of how you like to get high. Applying labels and image is just a dumb way to legitimize alcoholism. Just like comparing vape flavors avoids the subject of nicotine addiction. I like the image of Heineken but it doesn’t taste that great. I love the taste of Bud Lime but it smacks of a ladies’ drink. I’ll stick with the Bud Lime and apple ales because it tastes good. I’m sorry. I have more than beer choice supporting the notion that I’m a man.
I stumbled upon your post this morning and as a former owner of a sports bar, it gave me a chuckle.
Very few women judge a guy by the beer he drinks. If they do you have met a real shallow girl.
I don’t care for mass produced American beers. My tastes have evolved with age.
In college we weren’t as brand conscious.
Give a Molsons Canadian a try. Clean and crisp with some bady to it. Labatts Blue is too sweet for my taste. Labatts makes a very good Canadian Ale.
When I travel, I like to try the local brews. Many of them are excellent. These micro breweries have captured the essence of what beer should be.
Molson Canadian is great! I discovered it on a road-trip to Vancouver for Spring Break in 2003.
F**k you, buddy. I drink frutti beers and also f**k yo mama on the side.
Excluding anything with “chilis” in it makes you sound either like (a) a pussy or (b) someone who has never had the occasion to try many of the great habanero-infused beers
About the latino beer comment. Yes corona does suck and I never drank salva vida. But presidente from Dominican Republic taste great and is a good beer. So its not all “latino” beers
I agree with all of the list but I would add one thing: Any beer made with wheat.
Wheat gives a sour taste as if your beer from the last semester somehow remained opened on the table and you came back to it.
Just grab the local brewer’s Pale Ale, cream lae or ale.
Did you go to college? This is what you can buy. This is what you’re supposed to drink in college.
The title, the list, and the all the words in between are all wrong. Avoiding any beer in college is grounds for expulsion! If it’s cold and wet put in a beer bong, throw a ping pong ball at it, or use it to chase a slug off a stolen bottle of liquor. I’m not quite sure what the f**k the writer of literary swill was trying to accomplish, other than piss people off. “10 worst beers to avoid in college”? What a pussy.
quit judgin’ bud light. + u r a nasty [email protected]
I’m pretty sure you have never tasted Cusqueña from Peru. Better than Heineken and Beck but really hard to find.
Heineken and Beck are pretty much at the bottom already, 96% of beer taste better almost single handedly from not being stored in green glass.
Was raised on anhauser Busch prods in st Louis no but Sam Adams is the skunkiest s**t I’ve ever tasted!!!!!+(!!(!!!!!!!!!!what the f***
Who is this fucking guy? It’s 2015 and I’m calling out this A-hole, again.
College uppity drinking advice. F**k off. You’re the dickhead everyone hated. You were the prick “priming” with Woodpecker Apple Cider because it was your cool thing.
This is coming from a guy who passed college aged a while back. I began drinking Old Milwaukee while in the Navy. It was cheap, wasn’t bad tasting, and hey it was beer. Once I got married my new wife and I started drinking Schlitz Lite. Once again it was cheap and as a newly married couple money wasn’t something we had in great amounts.
Kids, save your money. A girl ain’t gonna judge you if you’re drinking a PBR, Schlitz or even a Milwaukee’s Best. If she does, she’s high maintenance and ain’t worth the effort.
Iron City Heavy Beer, and any other “Iron City” carbonated liquid. Tastes and smells like the brewery has a direct tap into the sewage treatment plant. Then you produce beer farts that would cause the Centers for Disease Control to declare your pants a level 5 Biohazard.
Westwood believes that there are too few female designers whose designs are kind to women, glamorous and empowering. Her belief is that “Fashion is very important.Vivienne Westwood UK It is life-enhancing and like everything that gives pleasure, it is worth doing well”
F**K OFF AND DIE
I don’t think I’ve ever had an American brewed beer that I liked. Ever. I agree with DRAGON on the micro-brew opinion. Small, craft breweries make some of the best product, no matter what country.
With the exception of a hand full of people on this list, yall are dumb asses, some of the best bet I’ve ever had is home brewed and microbrews are the way to go!! And I don’t care what anybody says all mad produced american poss water tates the same any ways…..the end.
Schlitz is freaking amazing for the money, man. Even the Beeradvocate community considers it quite decent and they mostly don’t care for anything that’s not like a double imperial stout or something. Don’t drink Schlitz malt liquor, but drink the hell out of Schlitz beer. Do it. Everyone.
You must be young or not live in the northeast most of them are drinkable (barely) cheap pisswater Mexican beers are actually good ( try a dos Equis) with some good Mexican food please) but for plain awful beer try iron city (Pittsburgh sewer water) black label Schaffer haffenreffer (green death) nastygansett and the worst gennesee cream ale tastes like sewage mixed with horse piss and skunk piss the only beer ill turn down if its free!!
You forgot Steel Reserve!! Although i drink it constantly, it tastes like a filthy cornhole!
Any “Ice” beer is fucking gross. Corona is fucking gross, it tastes like dirt. Stella is delish. Budweiser is gross. PBR is cheap. Beer fruit flavored tastes good, faggot or not. Ciders are delish. I like tequila.
I don’t understand why Heineken is supposed to be good. It’s nasty. I think people just drink it because it’s “import.”
Beer preference is subjective, ones mans Piss beer is another mans favorite drink.
Too poor in UNi so whatever’s on sale and gets you high wins.
None of that I don’t drink low grade stuff cuz if I would I would drink top notch vodka, tequila that cost me a semester a UNi or some 30’year old whiskey/brandy.
How can you tell if an article has struck a chord? If it’s still getting comments over two years later, that’s how. I don’t agree with all (well, most) of the author’s opinions, but it’s funny as hell. Wasn’t that the point?
Sure big brewery offerings may suck ass. Not all though. As someone pointed out the conspicuously missing Bud and Bud Light probably means the author drinks that s**t. Old Milwaukee is a great mass brewed american beer. Just put it in a big cooler full of ice. That’s the way that type of beer is to be drank anyway. Nothing against micro-brews either since I drink them all the time, but I drinking them and talking about them are two different things. Drinking ok – telling anybody else to drink them – that is for the trendy shitbags.
I just read adios’ post as I was about to post and agree.
I don’t understand why people like you feel the desperate need to go on pointless rants about beers that people actually do like and drink. Don’t I have the right to like a beer you don’t like? Why do you need to get so damn angry about that? Why does liking a beer that YOU don’t care for make me or anyone else a “faggot,” “girl-repellent,” “d*******g,” “cheapass” or any other descriptive noun you used? Can’t you deal with someone else having different preferences than you happen to have? Guess not.
I just have to add… If you want to reveal the jackass who wrote this racist and uninformed article for what he is; please try to do so with some effort to use correct grammar, spelling and punctuation (without stooping to his level). Thanks :)
I have to agree with 90% of these comments and disagree with the author. The little known fact that Anheuser-Busch uses more rice than anything else should be a good tip-off (cheap money grubbing b******s). I believe that people who do not like the taste of PBR is because of the detectable hop content. I wish it hadn’t risen in popularity because of the resulting price increase.
This is a very very underthinked article.and it contradicts its title.the whole point is for broke college students and the beer theyy can afford and drink.not what your rich ass can go to the closest store and pick up some hein or top notch beer.I actually think coors is very good.very drinkable.and Natty is a college clas.sic asame with icehouse. This writer is very arrogant.I would like to know what he drinks.if at all.I bet he swallows wine coolers down after he drinks a pack of keystone and smokes a pack of 305 cigs.gowright about something you know more about.and
Obviously this is a great article if it is still getting comments a year and a half later. Well done.
Expand your lupin threshold…Pliny the Elder and Dogfish Head 120.
Your a fag go f**k urself pussy
Most of the big batch commercial brews are horrible. That said, most of the small batch indie fruit nut spice oat chocolate coffee ipa beer is even worse. The basic beer recipe should not be tampered with beyond the smallest migration of ingredients and time in the kettle. The introduction of all these bullshit ingredients invalidates the beverage itself –it makes it NOT beer. It makes it beer with a bunch of s**t infused into it. And I don’t care if Sam Adams is pimping their $100 million ad campaign to tell me how amazing and pure it is that the patriot-brewer now has pine nuts and cranberry and monkey ball sauce brewed into its Solstice Spice Ancient Ale, they’ve jumped the shark. Sam Adams surrendered to “growth of brand over taste and quality of brand,” hence, the infinite number of shitty beers they produce by bald guys with beers wearing carhart coveralls. Sam Adams’ specialty brews, and the 9000 other brewers out there pumping handfuls of bullshit ingredients into their beer have also jumped the shark. News flash: it isn’t beer anymore. It’s coffee, or a banana nut sauce, that vaguely tastes like beer. Sorry. The emperor has no clothes. These beers are awful and you know it. Now grab a Boston Lager, or a Brooklyn Brown, or even an Irish Budweiser, Harp, and enjoy the uncluttered beauty of B E E R. Dipshits.
Sam Adams & Corona both owe most of their success to brilliant marketing. In addition Corona owes some of it’s success to limes. Then again I’m sure many crappy beers will taste a little better if a slice of lime is dropped into the bottle or glass.
Just stick to Imperial White Sam Adamns. (sorry if it’s not legal in your state.) Closest you’ll get to German beer in the U.S. ;)
Sid is smart
You must be rich, old Milwaukee is great beer and gets #1 results in taste test,I give people Steele reserve in a glass and say , this is really good beer you’ve got to try it, and there like man what is this, all about advertising an da $
Lovely bit of racist, homophobic s**t writing. I bet if the writer knew about microbrews he’d hate those, too. He sounds like a grunting ape in greek letters.
It’s called a Carlsberg lad!
Why is everyone here so surprised that someone who wrote an, well, let’s be polite and call it “article”, about beer is a homophobic mildly racist stereotyping backwards and uneducated guy who probably thinks of beer as some sort of manly ambrosia that merely being associated with immediately causes hair to sprout on your chest and balls (and gay guys to get hard but go out of their way to avoid you because obviously you’re too much man for another guy too handle, I mean, sure you imagine yourself pounding one of their nice, firm butt cheeks sometimes, you know, like your dad used to do to you, but that would be some gay business, and you’re not gay. No sir, you like women. Flat chested women with a really big clitoris and bad shaving habits.)? Naturally everyone in their right mind is completely aware that beer is merely a beverage and that drinking it, and philosophizing about what makes a good beer, does not improve your masculinity, nor does mixing it with fruit or other things make you a (and I am merely quoting, not using the word to make myself seem more like a manly man-guy) faggot.
this guy is fucking awesome! Said it not like, but a true beer drinker! What were u drinking when you wrote this Constitution of beer! sir!!
You, uh, really like the word faggot there, dontcha. Why don’t you try joining the rest of us in the 21st century where we try to not be homophobic d********s.
Milwaukee’s best, aka. the beast, served it’s purpose in college. It was affordable and it was beer. I didn’t give a rat’s arse about the taste. Hell, half the time I was sucking it down through a tube. Author is clearly a douche.
This is alarmingly homophobic AND racist. Terrible article. Dismissing fruit in beer shows the writer has no clue what he’s talking about.
4. Old Milwaukee, Milwaukee’s Best, Etc – I don’t know what the hell kind of city Milwaukee is, but I’m putting my money on “sh*thole” based on the fact that any beer with Milwaukee in it’s name smells like a v*gina in the middle of a rancid yeast infection.
You should’ve bet actual money, you could have cleaned up big. Milwaukee isn’t a very nice place to live. I’m not alone in saying this either, the last time the city didn’t post negative population growth was way back in the 1960 census.
Aside from a small handful of neighborhoods clustered on the shore of Lake Michigan (East Side, Bay View) or on the western and southern outskirts of town, the place is a poverty stricken craphole. I’m from here, hell I’m from the craphole part.
Not to mention, a producer of some of the worst beer in America (excluding our microbrews). Such crap brews include Olde English 800, Steel Reserve 211, Miller in all of it’s hideous forms, Mickey’s and Milwaukee’s Best.
Miller makes all of these, which is why they’re still made here. All of the others (Pabst, Schlitz) got the hell out.
You hit the nail on the head with this list.
Agree. The author is a genius except for #7. Fruity IPAs with high alcohol are awesome! Bud, Miller, Coors, Busch and the rest of the skunk lagers including the lights are puke-able. Heineken is gross as is every other beer in a clear or green bottle. Trash.
Corona sucks, but there are many Mexican great beers that probably you’ll never be wealthy enough to try.
Coffee beer rules, you dumb ass frat boy.
Best beer advice I ever got was from a real biker chick…”Buy cheap beer — they only taste the first one anyway…”
Here is some food for thought how about we just drink what we like and forget about all the violence lol, isn’t the point of drinking to feel good? So all y’all neg a******s piss off ! So us southern, whitetrash, fag, collage loosers can get our drink oon! Hell ya!
You sir are an idiot.
You no little to nothing about beer.
I am a big fan of microbrews and imports,my favorite being Samuel Smith’s Oatmeal Stout, but I still love PBR. Light and a better taste than Bud/Miller/Coors. Good session beer.
Some Mexican beers are quite alright. I like Pacifico, Negra Modelo and Bohemia.
You forgot Keystone Light. I’ll never forget it; it was my first beer in college. The moment I took a sip I thought “someone pissed in my cup.” Everytime I see those commercials saying that Keystone is smooth like Keith Stone I want to shout “LIAR!”
Well your comment has IMO invalidated your opinion of his option of whom I was considering a superior opinion
THIS HAS TO BE THE DUMBEST BEER REVIEW EVER!!!
Guinness ya sons a bitches
I found your insight and suggestion funny until you wrote ‘gay ass’ and ‘faggot’. Not a good choice of words. As a writer, blogger, whatever you want to call it, your work can inspire people. It’s witty, funny, and it would be terrible to turn people off by having homophobic undertone, whether it’s intentional or not. I can handle a lot of things, but I just think there are better ways to be funny rather than using the tasteless words.
James White, have you ever tried a Stella?**
(which that part among the very few other things of this article is true)**
while Stella is has a very high carbonated content such as ginger ale**
(I hate when I make grammatical errors so I just had to fix them, I’m sure there are more but I don’t have THAT much time; besides it’s St. Patrick’s and I’ve got to go try some more beers myself.)
James White, have you ever tried a Stella. It tastes nothing like PBR! PBR is like Busch but even nastier but because of all of the “hipsters” (which that part of the few other things on this article was true) they have jacked the price up to almost the expense of a “premium beer”. PBR is almost like mixing 3/4 of a Busch beer with the rest filled with Natural Ice, while Stella is highly carbonate so that has a very high carbonated content like ginger ale while the beer tastes well I’m not really sure anymore it’s been a while since I’ve had one but I do know for a fact that it is much more “bubbly” and tastier than PBR! I mean come on man Stella is actually one of the few beers on American shelves that does taste sort of good for the price.
Your are a stupid ass sh**head that doesn’t know dick about beer. Yeah while most of these beers on this list are completely grotesque you tell others not to even try them. I believe that everyone should try each beer once if you really want to learn about beer. You even completely categorized some types of beer as all being completely horrible like Latino made beers and beers made with fruits. Did you just hop off of the “short bus” or are those the only beers you’ve ever tried in your life? Did you know that there are thousands upon thousands of different beers made across the world? Maybe you should learn a thing or two about the ingredients used to make beer as well you imbecile. You have no idea whatsoever about making or trying beer. “Home brews” or micro brews could be some of the best beer you have ever poured over those useless taste buds of yours. I would never run from a beer someone brewed on their own. It would have to be much better than many of the corporate American beers that flood the market here. So take a lesson from the many negative comments I have seen today on your completely rhetorical little rant you’ve blabbed about on this site and LEARN A FEW “BASIC THINGS” ABOUT BEER BEFORE YOU GO BASHING ANY CHEAP BEER THAT SPARKS INSIDE THAT PUNY BRAIN OF YOURS”!! Besides I think you just wrote this so you could make a few girls laugh and maybe finally lose your virginity you pussy. You probably don’t even like beer, beer is for the real man little buddy.
Keystone Ice! Worst beer ever!
Stella tastes just like PBR!
I made suptid comment i look dumb bedcacuse I use bad grammers. List is good so far but pabst blue ribbon is good beers for good price.
I almost never leave a response, but i did a few searching and wound up here this blog name. And I actually do have some questions for you if it’s allright. Is it simply me or does it look like some of the responses look like coming from brain dead folks? :-P And, if you are posting on additional online sites, I would like to keep up with anything fresh you have to post. Could you list of all of all your community pages like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile?
Lighten up dickheads this article gave me a good laugh. Beer it keeps me going.
This list is stupid. All we drank in college were these beers (minus the fruity, vegetable, and low-calorie ones.)
The author’s ‘knowledge’ of beer is beyond laughable and deplorable. I will not repeat anything else that has been previously stated, but there is a huge world of beer out there if you are willing to delve into it.
I will agree that most of the pale, light and adjunct lagers that the author mentions are not my cup of tea, but why all the hate? Let people drink what they want. If they want to drink products from macrobreweries, let them. If they want to support their local craft beer scene, let them.
Beer is beer. It has been around since the dawn of civilization, and it is a sure bet that it will still be around years from now. Drink what you will, think what you will.
If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.
Whats wrong with natty ice 5.9% sounds good to a drunk like myself lol. GFYS rich ass yuppie drink your budlight fag beer and suck yourself off in the corner XD
Water, malt, hops and yeast. These are the four staple ingredients in beer, the exception being hefeweizen which has wheat instead of malt. Anheuser-Busch uses rice in their brew, which in my opinion, makes all of their products taste terrible. While I give you some credit for having a palate with enough taste to avoid most of the products you’ve listed above, I feel that your article has no merit whatsoever based on your vulgarity and lack of grown-up vocabulary. “But don’t go turning the world into a bunch of faggots” is a prime example. First off, drinking “fruity” beer doesn’t turn anyone into a “faggot” and second, you’ve made yourself sound completely stupid by even using the word…repeatedly. By the way, I find Dos Equis or Negro Modelo very drinkable, both of which are obviously imported.
I love latinos, mexicans. I do not like Germans. I do like Czechs, such lovely smiles!!! oh the czechs have such lovely smiles. have not had a ‘good’ beer since i left the czech republic, but- in america, oy, yes the natty light, mmm no. not toucha the lips my friend. pbr, good to hate but cheap tasty and what a devil in the white city. busch, ahhh the lavish taste of farts in a can, makes you think of america radio in the day where you liked the music once they played it over and over and over again. but each one on the list my friend is the best tasting beer. if they are free. you see i like the free beer. the free beer is the best tasting beer in the entire world. when i pay for beer i am so often disappointed. sometimes not, but so many things can go wrong, and not just with the beer. if i am drinking free beer, nothing, nothing can compare with the taste of the free beer. thank you for this opportunity. thank you thank you my friend. you are so cheap!
i fully support any beverage that drives the male populace to homosexuality. More poonaner for me…
Haha, great article. Loosen the f up people, it’s humor. The guy didn’t break into your mom’s house in the middle of the night and smack her in the face with his schlong.
Furthermore, all mainstream lightish beers do in fact suck but have their place. Spices and fruit in beer also suck, and if you put fruit in any wheat beer other than the crap on par with sam adams cherry wheat to drown out the taste, you need slapped. Putting fruit into Franziskaner or Tucher is like touching children-wrong on any level.
You sound Korean.
It’s whatevs, let the guy (author) think what he wants, no one wants to hear a bunch of people argue. If u like American style beers, budweiser, coors, and miller are fine… And some people like to drink a LOT but don’t like to put on the weight so they drink the light versions. Why you’d want to spoil nice beer like grolsch or Stella, idk… So that’s why people are so confused about good beer. If u wanna get drunk, by all means pick up a few 40’s of steel reserve, if u wanna enjoy something take your time looking for a good craft brew that suits yourself personally
Old Mil all the way.
This author abviously has no idea what he is talking about. Fist of all I highly doubt he’s drank all the beers in the world therefore he can’t be dissing on beers made in other countries and secondly some of the reasons that he gives for “shitty” beers make no sense. I don’t like corona as much because it’s too acidy for my taste but that doesn’t mean other people don’t like it. My bf love’s it but that’s cause he’s a beer guy and I’m a liquior girl. You can’t tell someone what not to drink if there is no valid reason. And lastly what college students shouldn’t drink are expensive beers and liquiors becaus college students are already broke enough to start off with. College students drink what is best for their pockets even if its not the best tasting beer or your favorite beer but as long as you like it (somewhat like it) it should be good enough. That being said Author you must have never been a college student.
Keep the Natty and Keystone off the list! Thats classic frat water. Beer so cheap we drink it like/instead of water.
straight from wiki
“All Old Milwaukee products have won top honors at the Great American Beer Festival and the World Beer Cup. Over the past 10 years, Old Milwaukee Light has won more awards than any other light beer in America.”
How about, “Don’t drink beer/alcohol att all…” it’s a horrible, HORRIBLE thing to do. :P
you know after reading the article i agree that the author is a racist dumbfuck but what amazes me the most is how all the commenters drink piss i mean they keep comparing this s**t to pissy cardboard and piss in a bottle seriously when was the last time you drank some piss
oh and fosters. fosters is pretty good.
… reach for a cold coors light, it turns blue when your beer SUCKS!
cheap piss water has its place in society. plus i think some ppl are actually proud to drink pbr, bud, and natty ice.
coors falls into this category, but interestingly enough, freshness is a huge factor. if you are ever in golden CO and you drink a coors, it’s almost good. sure bavarian beer is on a whole other level. they’ve been makin beer for all the right reasons and for centuries.
i personally enjoy IPAs from the pacific northwest, sam adams, brooklyn, becks, red stripe, hacker, weinstefan, spaten,
long trail, magic hat, stella, harp, newcastle etc. etc. you get the idea.
every now n then me and some friends will house a case of mgd, corona or w/e. id just prefer to be plenty drunk by the time that happens.
also i think its pretty clear the author has issues
A rich kid must have made this list because Pabst Blue Ribbon is like George Washington charging down your throat chasing red coats and indians. It’s an all american beer with a taste that only the true american can appreciate.
Never would have thunk I would find this so inidspesnblae.
True, but not practical advice, since in college being broke most of the time is a reality, you drink what you can get. I had to ration myself to one bottle of Ballentine’s a day, and a six pack was only $2.19. You didn’t mention Schmitt’s. And yes it tastes and gives you what it rhymes with. I think it was about $1.50 a six pack. I worked on an oceaography project one Feb. in the Chesapeake Bay and the platoon tent we were living in had a wall of cases of it separating the sleep area from the mess line. People were coming and going at all hours from one shift to another. You’d come in from your shift, eat and shot gun a six pack of two just so you could sleep through all the noise. It tasted like crap, but it got the job done and when you woke up, it really cleaned you out.
the writer SUCKS! I like bud w/lime and PBR is cool
All the beers that you ranted on i really dont care except for PBR. It is without a doubt my favorite beer, it is right up there with bud light,heinken, and miller light. Your reason was that “hippsters” drink it so that makes it bad. You sir are what we at the pub call a follower, seeing as how you want to standout i bet you havent even drank a pbr, so for attention you have ranted on a good beer. And lastly WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DRINK?! If it is so good then why didnt you share that with the rest of us? go to hell
I LIKE CORONA TASTE GOOD WORKS TO DESIRED EFFECT AND NO HANGOVERS
It’s absolutely impossible to avoid Natty and Keystone. They’re both gross but there is far worse.
Genny Light and Genesee Cream Ale are about the worst I’ve come across. The Cream Ale in particular gives you the worst hangovers.
dude your an idiot, I don’t know what the hell kind of city Milwaukee is, milwaukee is the beer capitol of the united states you fucking pussy, we have the most DUI’s
Tsingtao beer. I would rather suck the liquid s**t out of an overweight, yeast infected bitches ass then to drink another sip of “Chinas Finest Beer”.
This is fantastic.
I love the vivid imagry associated with 1: Natty Ice. I feel it is as consice as it is deserved.
Well done, chap.
I like most of the beers on the list lol…. what beers do u suggest if theese r so awful
f**k u writer . . . give me my coors keg . on ice please
Some valid points, but mostly a shitty list.
I drank Natty all throughout college. Cheap, goes down easy, and overall just awesome :) Natty Ice = Not recommended
carlsberg special brew.. worst beer ever. tastes like pissy cardboard. strong as f**k but still not worth drinking. mainly sold in ireland.
Don’t you dare forget the greatness of “Steel Reserve.”
We used to get bombed off of 40s of this crap daily.
The beauty part is we only paid like $0.75 per 40oz.
The bad part was that it tasted like holy hell and it made you think kayaking down frozen mountains was a super good idea.
Don sounds like a huge faggot
Ultimately, you are the kind of homo gay men won’t even hang out with if you choose your beer based on anything other than your own personal tastes. Sitting around hoping your beer doesn’t end up on some “shitty beer” list is the ultimate failure. Grow a pair and drink whatever the hell you want.
Apricot beer is good and f**k you if you don’t like it.
turn the world into faggots? that’s just the kind of drama a gay man would use. or is it persons of gayness?
Heineken is Dutch
Fruit in beer = breaking Man Law
The only badass fruits are pumpkins because Georgie Washinton pioneered pumpkin beer
The Author is correct on a few points. American Light Lagers are gross. This includes Coors, Miller, Heineken, and numerous others. Other American beers to avoid would be “european imports” such as Guinness, what Americans receive is as far from the iconic brew who’s name it bears as it can get.
Micro brews are the only beers that deserve a place in your fridge/bar/cabinet.
The Author is very very very wrong on the most important point. Fruits and spices are a vital part of brewing history. Coffee is an excellent additive to brews. Finally, homebrew is the purest form of culinary art. If you can’t take joy in a lovingly crafted homebrew then you are an uncultured swine and should stick to your mass produced pisswater.
This would be a bit better if you went with more joke’s and less ranting. Sound’s a little dumb with constant swearing.
Some of the best beers in the world have fruits in them, like Belgian style apple beer, and Dogfish Head’s own “Aprihop.” So I don’t agree with that on an the list.
And to the guy who said anything a homebrewer makes should be on the list, guess what nearly all of your “good beers” used to be.
@anonymous i didnt say hefeweizen had fruit brewed in it. i said you squeeze fruit in to it. and yes there are a few that have fruit brewed in it.
i also didnt say schlitz was good. i said it got a pass because a bad ass piano player wrote a song about it.
yes the immigrants did have the ingredients. i was trying to point out that the author is a racist prick.
also go f**k your self if you dont know a mr. show reference.
you stupid f**k,
@retarded, schlitz sucks ass. latino beers were founded by immigrants who didn’t have the fucking ingredients they needed to make “centuries old” recipes i.e. the centuries old hops farmers, you idiot. hefeweizen doesn’t have fruit brewed inside it. i guess you chose the correct username…
arent most college kids broke or on a tight budget? i know i was. ok so
1. natty ice, yes it is very very gross. i stopped drinking it when i tried it once in high school. so i agree with you on that one. even though you forgot the title of your blog. see my first sentence if you for got.
2. malt liquors, you’re stupid. they’re cheap and mickeys is pretty good if you ask me. and after one or two do you really care what it tastes like? oh yeah and stella is fucking awesome. so you’re a dumb s**t on that one. and vodka is NOT the poor mans drink. the poor mans drink is the subject you decided to write a fucking blog about! its FUCKING BEER!
3. busch, yeah you hit the nail on the head with that one.
4. pbr is also a good beer, though i can see how a lot of people dont like it. if youre ever in texas try lone star, its the pbr of texas but it tastes better. but your reason for not liking it is lame. you really dont like it because other people do. i heard hipsters like to breathe air too.
umm you did 4 twice. but 4 1/2 through 6 i agree with.
7. fruity beers, HAVE YOU EVER HAD A LAMBIC BEER!!!??? S**T! know what you’re talking about when you’re expecting someone to listen. im going to guess youre 22 or 23. and what about hefeweizens? alot of those you squeeze a lemon or orange into and those are some of the best beers in the world.
8. latino beers, you know most of those breweries were founded by german and checkoslovakian immigrants right? meaning they’re using centuries old recipes. NOT USING WHEAT!!! and you seem like you would love the 1950’s. you hate gays, non-whites and you seem to have an antiquated education.
9. ehh doesnt miller make red dog and milwaukees best, pretty much every big brewery in america sucks and they make beer that you dont think they make.
10. or rather 11. schlitz F**K YOU! this one gets a pass cause jerry lee lewis wrote a bad ass song about it. that and i wanted to say f**k you. learn about what youre writing about before you take the time to do it and learn how to count.
this prick knows s**t about beer, he probably drinks just wine cooler to get a buzz. i love corona, even when its not the best in mexico, but give montejo, indio, xx ambar and barrilito, a shot if you like beer that tastes like beer, not just watered-down piss. and stay the hell away from superior, sol, estrella, tropical and gallo when in mexico theyre just crappy excuses for a beer. cheers!!
I’d like to know what beers do the article’s author like, if any at all. He seems to be a beer-hater on a crusade; besides, one thing is not-liking beer and another is knowing about beer. Get yorself a little info before rambling-out such nonsense ’cause I can tell you I do know about beer, because of getting info about them and having tasted a lot all around the globe and you’d be surprised to know that some latino beers are amongst the best in the world, including Imperial from Costa Rica. Though I agree with you about Corona.
Two number 4s.
JJ, if you read properly you’ll see MrF wrote “didn’t include most offerings from Anheuser-Busch”, thereby acknowledging that there was an Anheuser-Busch offering on the list, now who’s the dumbass?
Hey MrF, Natty Ice is Anheuser-Busch, dumbass!
The fact that you didn’t include most offerings from Anheuser-Busch (Budweiser, among other s**t beers) and then b***h about better beer is kind of saying something.
Also the fact that you fail regarding ingredients (wheat? Only a few beers are made with wheat, dumbass)
Your “in your face” attitude about what beer is good or not while ultimately amusing is rife with ignorant commentary and incorrect information.
The write is mostly correct, though I’d happily tack on Budweiser, Coors and all the other big names to this, vomit on them and set the list on fire whilst detonating 47 trucks full of their vile brews…
There are some exceptions to all rules though. The Mexican Carta Blanca is a fantastic beer, and Pacifico (Corona’s bigger brother) is actually a very good lager for hot weather.
Pabst is gross.
dude the writer is fucken retarded. i bet he doesn’t know s**t about beers and on top of that he’s some white trailer trash incest loving freak. don’t fucken insult Mexican imported beers.
you totally forgot bohemian ice(full body shiver)
So I’m guessing by this list that the only beer that the other likes are bud light and coors light, unless he’s trying to impress some girls gone wild type trash and then he steps up to something like heineken or stella.
Might be worth pointing out that beer is typically made from malted barley- not wheat. Your ignorance of beer ingredients also tends to invalidate your opinions.
god forbid you should like to drink a beer that is “going to turn the world into a bunch of faggots” or one that is from south/central america/mexico, or korea, or a beer like natty that will make you seem like a “trashy southern kid.” all this racist rhetoric pretty much invalidates the authors opinions imo
You forgot one of the most deadly of all, the home brew beer, known to taste like anything from teast water to burnt dogshit and with the potential of doing anything from destroying your taste buds or making you go blind to liver damage and death, be warned when someone offers you first taste on their homebrew it’s usually best to run like hell. :)
This is a really funny article, and I have to agree with most of your opinions. Except for Pabst and Latino beers. Most Latino beers are great, Corona sucks though, especially as much as people hype it up to be the greatest beer.
Corona sucks, it is a blue collar beer in Mexico, not a fancy touristy drink as the ads want you to believe.
So how is your live going, little over 10 years after you wrote this reply.