10 Costumes Not To Wear On All Hallow’s Eve
There are three days until Halloween, which means many people are just beginning to think about what costume to buy. Some immediately jump into people’s mind, but that initial “fantastic” idea is probably not a good one at all. Avoid feeling foolish and running into someone with the same costume.
10. A pimp – Many males will jump at the chance to put a feather in their cap and add a little swagger to their step. This faux coolness is bound to evaporate once 10 guys in similar costumes stand silently with red cups around the keg. Alone.
9. School girl – An easy and cheap costume. Skirt and blouse from Catholic school still fit? Check. Knee-high socks? Check. The sudden audacity to walk around in clothes made for third-grader? Definitely.
8. Dwight from “The Office” – There is not a more annoying and brazen man worthy of a costume. Not only will there be others like this, but they won’t look like Dwight at all. They will look more like disgruntled, out of fashion computer engineers who need to explain their costume. And having to explain one’s costume is the biggest indication that it’s a terrible one.
Margot and Richie Tenenbaum
7. Margot and Richie from “The Royal Tenenbaums” – Wes Anderson’s beautiful and often hilarious 2001 movie about a father who tries to win back the adoration of his family never gets old. The characters and their garb are so meticulously put together it’s hard not to think about this film as a starting point in determining a Halloween costume. But that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. The Margot-Richie combination is sure to cut deeply in your pockets: Richie’s fine tan suit and wig (unless your going for post suicide look) and Margot’s striped shirt and long faux fur coat. It’s a big commitment. One that another, semi-creative and ambitious indie couple will try.
6. Vampires – What the hell is the obsession with vampires and the Twilight series? Whatever it is, all of you fang-crazed kids will have friends among the pimps and school girls.
5. Slutty _____ – Insert what you will: nurse, bumble bee, race car driver, angel/devil, cat, Hermione from Harry Potter, pirate, Native American. No use going to the store and buying these. Just put on what you wore to the club last week.
4. Grecian god/goddess – Think Slutty _____ with glitter and togas.
3. The one accessory costume – Long, dark dreadlocks, a hip mustache, or a cowboy hat does not qualify as a costume. These downers will be at every gathering this year, with their normal clothes still tight around their bodies.
2. A Michael Cera movie character – The boy who made all of us cringe at his infinite awkward moments on the short-lived TV show “Arrested Development” (RIP) will no doubt have a following. Don’t be caught as Paulie Bleeker with those “especially gold shorts.”
A hipster
1. Max from “Where The Wild Things Are” – It’s sure to be the hip costume this year. Ain’t so hip when all of your buds got it from the same Urban Outfitters as you. Skip the wolf suit and just enjoy the PBR.
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