Money or Love?

Jesse | Published on Feb 23, 2009

Rudra. One who has learned the way of the Buddha, but is still egotistical and materialistic. Is that what I’ve become? I’m not quite sure, and I’m not quite sure whether that disturbs me. Or rather, I’m quite sure that it disturbs me, but I’m not sure why. I need time to meditate, but every time I do, the same question echoes in my mind;

So what will you choose; money or love?

Gotta be money. Your money, man. Money. What does that mean? You’re a sure thing; betting on you is like money in the bank. You have to be money. Be cool. Be smooth. Its what everyone is, or at least, what everyone wants to be. Look around you. How many people want that love bullshit anymore anyways? True love, star-crossed lovers, all that s**t-it all died back with knights in shining armor and good goddamn riddance. It’s not bout being “love” anymore. It’s about being smooth, being successful in the eyes of others. About being money.

But what is money without enjoyment? Life is about being happy; why would you sacrifice that to make money? It makes no sense to me. You just have to find something that you love to do. Otherwise, what’s the point? You just can’t care what other people think about you. If you love something, just go for it. Money cannot buy happiness; it would be much better to choose something that you love to do, and do it.

Social regularity. Its normal to want it. Money, fame, and all that comes with it. Become something big. Someone important. Its not wrong to have some pride in yourself. Ego and pride are two different things. Plus, it’s the better route. The easier route. You do well, get to know the right people, and bam, you’re on easy street. Why even mess with the accepted tried and true formula? There is no reason, except for some pie-in-the-sky dreams about how living a different life will somehow make it better.

That’s fucking pathetic. I need money and a socially acceptable job to validate my existence on this earth? What kind of bullshit is that? My self-esteem is so low I need to do what others tell me to do, lest I feel my life is worthless? Can you see the strings on yourself, you goddamn marionette? Do you even see what its doing to you? You can’t let the bullshit weight you down, can’t become just another face in the crowd. Because, in the end, you aren’t just another face in the crowd. Do what you want, what you love, and f**k ‘em if they tell you different.

Live your life for yourself, or else you’ve lived for nothing.Yes,but what does that mean?

Money, love, money, love. Fame and fortune ; content and calm. Swirling, whirling.

I rise up, much enlightened, yet not a single step closer to answering the question.