Change MAC Address: Use Public WiFi Signals Without Any Limits, Not To Mention Serious Privacy Benefits

Chances are, you’ve heard of an IP address before.

But in the vast world of computing, have you ever heard of a MAC address?

Knowing the difference between the two could mean protecting your privacy from governments, corporations, and would-be snoopers – or, you know… maybe just getting a few more hours of free WiFi down at your local coffee shop.

Brief Background On MAC Addresses

While IP addresses are dynamic, ever-changing numbers temporarily assigned to your home or computer by an internet service provider (ISP), a MAC address is a permanent ID number used to identify a device’s network interface card (NIC).

Did you catch that? While IP addresses change often, MAC addresses don’t ever change. That is why they are often called a burned-in address (BIA), an ethernet hardware address (EHA), or simply a “physical” address, because they are literally assigned and stamped into your network card by whichever company manufactured your hardware.

Here’s a quick rundown for nerds in the room:

MAC addresses are formed according to the rules of one of three numbering name spaces managed by the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE): MAC-48, EUI-48, and EUI-64. The IEEE claims trademarks on the names EUI-48 and EUI-64, in which EUI is an abbreviation for Extended Unique Identifier. The standard (IEEE 802) format for printing MAC-48 addresses in human-friendly form is six groups of two hexadecimal digits, separated by hyphens (-) or colons (:), in transmission order (e.g. 01-23-45-67-89-ab or 01:23:45:67:89:ab ). This form is also commonly used for EUI-64. Another convention used by networking equipment uses three groups of four hexadecimal digits separated by dots (.) (e.g. 0123.4567.89ab ), again in transmission order.

Similar with IPv4 – the original version of IP addresses – MAC addresses assigned at the 48-bit level are predicted to run out by the year 2100. So, just as IPv6 was launched for IP addresses, we now have 64-bit MAC addresses for computer networking hardware. And whether you are using ethernet (LAN) networks, WiFi signals, or even Bluetooth, chances are that any device you buy from now on will have a unique EUI-64 code(s).

The Danger Of Physical Identifiers

“Okay, so what’s the big deal?” you may be thinking. For many consumers, privacy is increasingly a negligible issue. From personal photos, to birthdays, to family relationships, more and more information continues to be documented online.

In the case of MAC addresses, however, you are being physically tracked.

Not only are government entities tracking your MAC address everywhere you go, but several private corporations are tracking you too – in an organized effort to create a unique marketing profile of millions of individuals.

In an August 2014 interview with Edward Snowden, journalist James Bamford confirmed that the NSA actively tracks millions of people around the globe by way of MAC addresses, a revelation that had first popped up earlier in several blogs and newspapers. In other words, even if your laptop moves from a Starbucks WiFi signal to an office ethernet port, government and some corporate players can see exactly where you are at any given time, based solely on your computer’s physical MAC address.

In June 2014, Apple made a controversial announcement they would begin implementing randomized MAC addresses into all new iOS (8) devices going forward, in an effort to anonymize the identity of WiFi users using Apple products. Still, this has created even more questions for consumers: is Apple simply pushing marketers toward their new iBeacon technology, which is simply an Apple-controlled version of “physical” addresses using Bluetooth technology? Even if WiFi MAC addresses are randomized, what about ethernet (LAN) connections, Bluetooth devices, and beyond?

Spoofing Your Current Mac Address

During the next several years, randomized MAC addresses will hopefully become more common in an effort to protect the privacy of internet users. However, such widespread implementation is still only a pipedream, and in the meanwhile there are only 2 ways to realistically change (or “hide”) your physical MAC address:

1. Switch to a completely different physical device
2. Use a software application (or system hack) to “spoof” your real MAC address

Determining your “real” MAC address is extremely easy on most devices. On Microsoft Windows, open the Command Prompt and simply enter either of the following:

ipconfig /all
getmac

On any computer running OSX, you can open Terminal and enter the following:

networksetup -listallhardwareports

On any Linux distro, it’s nearly the same. Open Terminal and enter the following:

ifconfig -a

On any Android device, go to Settings >> About Device >> WiFi Address (or Bluetooth Address). On any iOS device go to Settings >> General >> WiFi Address (or Bluetooth Address). On any Windows Phone device go to Settings >> About >> WiFi (MAC) address. For ChromeOS, video game consoles, and more, check out this WikiHow article.

Without further ado, the below software applications can be used to “spoof” or change your MAC address to appear to be different from your “real” MAC address. And while there are nerdier ways to go about this (see HowToGeek), the typical consumer only has one real reason to change their MAC address: longer (or free) WiFi sessions!

Microsoft Windows MAC spoofer: Technitium MAC Address Changer

Apple Macintosh OSX MAC spoofer (script): SpoofMAC

Linux MAC spoofer (script): SpoofMAC or macchanger

Android devices (apps): Wireless MAC Address Changer or MAC Spoofer or MacMan

iOS devices (system hack): step-by-step tutorial and video example

(Pro Tip) Determine MAC manufacturer: MAC address and OUI lookup

So, the next time you’re at an airport or coffee shop and get booted off the free WiFi signal after only 30 minutes, try clearing your browser’s cookies and temporary files, and using one of these methods to spoof your MAC address. Of course, courtesy would have you first make sure there’s not a queue of 25 patrons waiting to sit down… but I suppose social etiquette should be saved for another article…

Note: Spoofing your MAC address is not illegal. However, it can technically be used to perform illegal acts. Please check the laws in your jurisdiction, as well as the Terms of Service for any network you are using, before attempting any of these methods.

Interview: Luke ‘Gold Jacket’ Eilers From YouTube Talks Girls, Psychology, And The Human Experience

Below is an exclusive CollegeTimes interview with Luke Eilers, who has developed a strong following on his YouTube channel, where he focuses on social experiments, human psychology, moral questioning, and other intriguing topics. I first came across Luke due to an experiment he did a few years back dressed up as Santa Claus where he easily collected dozens of phone numbers from attractive young women – and have been following him ever since as his channel continues to tackle a wider array of questions. Recently, he also launched a confidence-building course called Imaginary Men, in which members can receive personal life coaching and relationship advice.

I have to start out by confessing that I’m a big fan of your YouTube channel, Luke. I first noticed you because of the Santa Claus social experiment you did with the /whatever team a few years ago. Briefly, how did you get started with YouTube, and do you have any current “partners” or are you working on videos independently these days?

Thanks for the kind words Jesse! I was one of the original founders of the /whatever channel. It started with a burning passion in my mind to start creating prank videos and things magically worked out beyond what I initially envisioned! After about 8 months of doing the pranks, I decided I would start a vlog channel (GoldJacketLuke) and do both the vlogs and the pranks at the same time. However, there were some business disagreements on whatever and I decided to leave that channel and focus fully on the GoldJacketLuke channel. I love the question Alan Watts proposes in one of his popular videos, “What would you do if money was no object?”. For me, my highest passion is discussing the ideas that I talk about on my GoldJacketLuke vids expressing my thoughts. :)

Your channel has really branched out lately, but in general, it seems you are passionate about psychology, moral questions, and beyond. Is that accurate? At the end of the day, what do you hope to accomplish with your channel, and which subjects are you most passionate about?

Yep, sounds accurate. I’m also very into dating advice as well as philosophy! At the end of the day, I hope to spread ideas that help people live more truthful, fulfilling, empowered, & passionate lives and have a blast doing it!

So on the dating advice thing… seriously now, where does your mojo come from!? How does a guy dress up like Santa Claus – let alone any of your other approaches – and come away with dozens of phone numbers from some of the most beautiful girls in California… in literally minutes?

Haha I was definitely a late bloomer with the ladies. You wouldn’t believe how awkward I used to be when talking to girls I was attracted to. I decided it was something that needed to change so took massive action on improving with women and have approached tons of girls over the last couple of years. Having a camera on me, my friends’ support, and knowing that millions would watch on youtube also helped motivate me on my more ridiculous stunts :P

I’m sure you are familiar with the so-called “pickup artist” scene, a.k.a. PUAs. Frankly, I’ve always found much of that scene degrading, not only because it encourages shallow relationships but it also seems to tell young men there is only a single, self-righteous alpha male “image” that is respected by society. I’m curious what you think about that scene, and how you relate to and/or differentiate yourself from it?

Yes, very familiar. Great questions and agreed. For me, the PUA scene actually initially massively helped me. It made me believe that I could improve with women, change myself, and gave me a path to do it.

So for that I commend the community and I think the PUA community does lots of good, however at the same time I think the scene does TONS of bad. 

Most of the PUA culture is “the blind leading the blind”. Rather than having healthy role-models, insecure guys are following power-hungry misogynists who love the ego of “being the alpha guy who bangs hot girls”, rather than guys who genuinely love women and can connect with them in a real way. The PUA scene promotes a mentality of “conquering women” to feel good about your ego, rather than authentically connecting with women and being yourself. On the path to manhood I think going through a PUA phase could be extremely healthy for a man’s development (it was for mine) to overcome one’s insecurities. However, it seems like lots of guys get stuck in the scene which has a feel to it equivalent to a never-ending hole that just gets deeper and deeper the more you dig. The purpose of any dating advice should be to fall in love, something the PUA community ironically doesn’t talk much about.

I love talking about the PUA community haha, I find it very fascinating and curious how my message evolves as I’m sort of in the field.

Speaking of healthy role-models, I hear you are launching a new product – along with some other strapping young lads – that aims to provide some heart-felt advice to young men who are looking for some legitimate discussion on real life issues. Please explain, and plug away :)

Yep yep! It’s called Imaginary Men. It’s an audio program that I created along with five other personal development and dating coaches. The program is very different than traditional “self-help”. Imaginary Men is a fluid and inspired conversation where the six of us all coach each other on the current problems we face, talk about desires we’d like to explore, and share stories about our most transformative experiences from our life. The program is very unique in that we are extremely vulnerable — we share our deepest shames, our biggest failures with women, and lots of our embarrassing lowest lows from our lives. For example I share my “broken penis” story and Fred shares about how he lost his virginity to a prostitute. Some of what we shared in this recording was so personal and sensitive that it was our first time discussing it with anyone. If you are interested in personal growth, improving your social anxiety (included is a social anxiety virtual coaching bonus with ‘in-field” demonstrations), and improving your relationships with the opposite sex — I highly recommend you checkout Imaginary Men.

One of your most viewed videos currently is about the so-called “No Fap” movement that’s grown popular over the past few years among young males on the web. For our *less-informed* readers, can you briefly explain the meaning of the term, and how it has affected you personally?

“Fapping” is an internet lingo term for masturbation. The “No Fap” movement is an experiment where guys abstain from watching porn and masturbating. The goal is to get guys to connect with real women and have more fulfilling relationships (rather than staying home and jacking off to fake pixels of girls online). I believe porn is one of the biggest problems the modern day man faces that has really demasculinized our generation. If you, the reader, think you may have a problem with a porn or masturbation addiction, definitely recommend you to checkout my video and see if it’s right for you.

I’ve found that when I don’t look at porn or masturbate I have more energy, motivation to meet women, have more drive and ambition, and have a higher self-respect. Muhammad Ali said one of his secrets was that he didn’t masturbate for several weeks before a fight.

From “No Fap” to “How To Get A Girlfriend” to “How To Not Give A F**k”, your video topics run the gamut, to say the least! Where does your inspiration/knowledge come from? College professors? Ancient books? The internet? Is peer-to-peer learning via the web the future of “life” education? Who are some of your role models or people that you admire?

I first started getting into this field by finding Steve Pavlina’s blog several years ago. I instantly got hooked. I thirst for knowledge and really love ideas on how to improve yourself. Afterwards I’ve been hooked by several other “gurus” – Alan Watts has had a tremendous impact on me.

I’d say I’ve learned the most from other “gurus”, reading books, and from my real life experiences. I’ve also learned a s**t-ton from my friend – dating coach Shogo Garcia – lately, and hanging out with him in person. The best way to learn is always real life experiences! And from all those sources the inspiration kind of just “flows” through me!

To finish up, how would you summarize yourself in one word? Where do you see yourself in the future as far as career plans, income, or life purpose? Could YouTube be a life-long focus for you, or – as you mentioned earlier – if “money was no object” what would you pursue? Any key advice for readers out there looking to launch a successful YouTube channel?

Haha awesome question! The first word that came to my mind was: “weird”. I am a very weird guy. I think life is very weird. I think the fact that we exist is very weird. Everything is all very weird in my eyes.

I see myself making YouTube videos for at least another 10+ years. Spreading ideas on how to live the best life possible is my passion. I want to get into public speaking in the future and be able to speak live to audiences. I’d also like to travel a lot more! It’s really tough getting started on YouTube now… the best bet is to start building your audience with content that can go viral (pranks, etc). And once you get an audience the momentum really helps! But whatever your wildest dream is, go for it and you might be surprised ;)

You can follow Luke on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, or Google+

Glen Allsopp: How ‘ViperChill’ Lost All Credibility

For the past several months, I’d been considering writing an article about Glen, a rather well-known “internet marketer” from ViperChill.com. Last week, after seeing his latest email newsletter in which he partnered with Alex Becker to promote a rather seedy product to thousands of webmasters – only weeks after having criticized a related product via Twitter – I called him out via email and invited him to an interview, noting that he had apparently disabled comments on that blog post in an attempt at censorship. Glen refused, insisting that he “uses the product” and it’s “changed the way he does business” and that I was only “insulting” him out of jealously (etc). He concluded, “Feel free to write whatever you like. I’ll be sure to forward it to people who ask why I don’t answer emails anymore.” I finished by asking, “What happened to the old, honest Glen? Flashy car photos, bullsh*t products, and Alex Becker… Glen 2.0… an email marketer who doesn’t answer emails? That pretty much sums up the industry.” I privately confirmed with Glen via email, twice, that he was not willing to answer any questions for this article. I always believe in giving people the chance to publicly explain themselves, but apparently Glen has nothing to say, which is rather tell-tale (see bottom).

Update 11/24/2014: It looks like Glen has pro-actively removed me from all of his email mailing lists. At least one website has already removed a glowing recommendation of Glen’s resources because of this article. My intention was not, and is still not, to create bad blood. In the spirit of debate and conversation I encourage thoughtful discussion, and not black-listing, etc. Anyway, cheers ~

Update 7/9/2015: Charles Floate, the increasingly well-known blogger behind GodofSEO, responded to this article in a passionate blog post of his own. Earlier, I had had a friendly Facebook exchange with Floate after noticing he was promoting Glen’s recently updated Marketing Inc 2.0 courses, a follow up to the online series that I had encouraged Glen to pursue and which partially influenced my LittleBizzy relaunch.

Update 4/11/2016: Looks like this piece is spiking again, so I should say that I recently had a guest post on MaxCDN’s blog about how to launch a high quality web hosting business and I mentioned Glen’s Marketing Inc project (again) as part of my inspiration. I will always oppose some of his bad decisions mentioned below, however ;)

—

Is being critical of one of the web’s ‘top’ internet marketers wise?

That depends, I suppose, on your moral convictions. As Sergeant Landsman sternly asserts in The Wire, “It’s all about self-preservation, Jimmy. Something you never learned.”

Well, I just so happen to be more of a McNulty fan, in the end.

If there’s one thing I hate in the digital age, its the virtual dicksuckery that now pervades the SEO and internet marketing industries in a way that so perpetuates quackery that nobody seems willing to call a duck a duck. And while I could (perhaps later) address multiple examples, today’s post is about calling out Glen Allsopp of ViperChill, one of the most followed internet marketing “gurus” online.

The Decline Of A Once Great Marketer

I have followed Glen for several years now, along with a multitude of other marketing bloggers. Despite my skepticism about most of his fly-by-night “products” and my disagreement with many of his opinions, I gave him the benefit of the doubt because so many people seemed to respect him and his case studies. And, over the years, I can say that Glen genuinely inspired me, either directly or indirectly, in some of my own personal thought processes. Don’t get me wrong – Mr. Allsopp is a clearly intelligent individual, who is a more or less likable character among many in the blogosphere (and for what it’s worth, I rather enjoyed his recent Marking Inc. video series).

Unfortunately, Glen seems to be backsliding. In recent months he has:

In fact, Matt Cutts, the now (in)famous leader of Google’s Web Spam team, even made a rare public jab at black-hat SEO “hype” promoters like Glen, calling them “used car salesmen who won’t show you their cars.” Ouch.

Making Money From Selling False Hope

This is not an anti-Glen Allsopp piece, or an anti “internet marketing” piece. This is an anti “pretending to offer real world value when all you do is make money from re-packaging false hope each month to a new crowd of desperate online newbies” …piece.

There are dozens, if not thousands, of “gurus” who do this on the web, and Glen is nowhere near the worst. In fact, its been a cornerstone of internet commerce since the beginning, with communities like Warrior Forum, Digital Point, BlackHatWorld, and others churning out bullshitter after bullshitter with absolutely no end in sight. Generally speaking, these bullshitters rely completely on the likes of ClickBank, and other digital affiliate product markets that have very lax standards when it comes to fraud. They then, sometimes with the help of others, hype the hell out of certain products, censor any critical feedback, avoid conversations with non-newbies who see through their bullshit, and make a good bit of money (sometimes) from all the clueless desperate people who purchase their get-rich-quick software “products” – which often involve black-hat SEO (although, in recent years, this approach has shifted more toward “online courses” and “members only” forums in place of traditional eBooks and software.)

Glen’s latest promotion, Source Phoenix, is yet another box of re-packaged false hope developed by Alex Becker, who got together several other internet marketers to help him hype the hell out of it in order to avoid criticism from competitors – that way, “hype” is maximized, and “affiliate” profits are shared all the way around. (Source Phoenix is yet another hype-promotion involving PBNs, a black-hat SEO tactic frowned strongly upon by Google, which has gotten thousands of websites banned – it also takes significantly more time and money than affiliates would have you believe.)

And while every emerging webmaster/marketer/human being could be expected to dabble in shittiness from time to time – especially when starting out – people like Glen Allsopp are old enough and experienced enough to know what they are doing is simply ripping off newbies who desperately want to find some success on the web.

Glen Allsopp Tactics In A Nutshell

As far as making money on the web goes, there are generally two types of people:

1. Those who start out hyping “crap” and evolve to selling something of value
2. Those who start out hyping “crap” and several years later, are still hyping “crap”

With all due respect, Glen currently falls into the second category. Despite his shining “case studies” on ViperChill, he continues to regurgitate the same iterations of ripoff black-hat SEO products and Super-Secret VIP Members-Only Clubs! despite it all ultimately coming back to him promoting his high-risk PBN backlinks (etc).

But if developing a micro-cult following online is your biggest goal in life – rather than, say, launching a successful eCommerce store, leveraging digital marketing for real-world business, or finding ways of adding true value to society… then here are some steps you can take to emulate “used car salesmen” on the web:

1. Project Superiority, Always. Become totally immersed in condescending language with every single email you write, comment you make, or discussion you have. Use patronizing phrases like “glad it helped you, bud” to remind every conversation of your self-importance. Like an alpha male on a reality TV show, establish yourself as intellectually superior, overly reasonable, and profess the success of your “followers” as your top concern. However, if anyone challenges you or criticizes anything you say, cut them off immediately, and move to item #2.

2. Pretend You Don’t Care. Combining your bloated ego (above) with a sense of indifference is a lethal combination. In fact, its the same psychological approach used by the 21st-century man-children who call themselves Pick-up Artists (PUAs) when they harass troubled girls with daddy issues down at the local bar – except in this case, you are targeting needy young webmasters looking for an online father figure. Respond to any and all criticism with reverse-psychology phrases like, “No worries if you don’t want to follow me after this” (quote via email).

3. Act Like Everything You Do Is A Favor. I’ve spent the better part of a decade devouring news, blogs, and the like online, and never have I come across others who can so cleverly make everything they do seem like a gift from Christ above. This is clearly not something that guys like Glen learned on Warrior Forum, but rather something that comes naturally to a select few. (If guys like Glen or “Becker” were born a century earlier, they’d be selling snake oil tonic up and down the Mississippi River.) In fact, the first thing Glen said to me when I asked him why he was promoting scam-ware was “What’s your problem, bud? I’ve replied to your past emails!?” (drastically paraphrased).

4. Master The Art Of Subtly. Best reserved for a future article, but suffice it to say that the only way you’ll be able to accomplish #2 and #3 is by way of subtle, subconsciously-manipulative language in a controlled environment.

5. Control Your Environment. Something that most IM’ers like Glen understand well is the power of groupthink, or “crowd” mentality. The fastest way they can maximize hype and create a false sense of celebrity is by controlling what their audience is exposed to. Specifically, only blog comments that worship and adore them are typically accepted, and receive an immediately reply that simultaneously A) “encourages” the person commenting and B) condescends to the person commenting (reinforce #1, always). Very little interaction takes place on public forums or any environment which such “hype-artists” cannot control, which is another reason they LOVE email lists so much.

6. Create Fake Celebrity. A surprisingly easy thing to do on the web, where nobody knows you from Adam. Making yourself look more famous or successful than you really are is a guilty pleasure of most netizens, if we are being honest. If you are Glen, you post The Guardian newspaper’s logo all over the place making it look like they’ve endorsed your marketing services, despite you having reached out to them several years earlier as part of a “who’s traveling the world and making money online?” survey. But hey, if you’ve got it, then use it — it’s not like… anyone’s going to track down those articles…

(If all else fails, take a cue from Glen and put logos from the likes of Reuters, Forbes, etc. on your site, and pretend like news corps around the world are talking about you. And for the record, when guys like Glen say they’ve done marketing for “Fortune 500” clients, its bullshit, as large corporations NEVER hire rogue marketers. Most any SEO who’s worked with agencies in a developing country – i.e. South Africa, as Glen did – has done work on behalf of Fortune 500 subsidiaries as part of that agency’s client base. Or, feel free to call up Land Rover and ask them if they’ve heard of Glen Allsopp.

7. Create A Sense Of Mystery. Probably one of the only items on this list that I still quite respect about Mr. Allsopp is his unique ability to create mystery. With every email he sends or blog post he carefully constructs, Glen has a keen ability to make you feel part of something grand, something that the rest of the world is missing out on. Take for example, his Private Inc. email list for black-hat SEO backlinks — despite Google’s Web Spam team clearly knowing about the list and Glen’s sprawling PBN network, you can’t help but want to know more about this minimalistic wonder:

glen-allsopp-private-inc-1

8. Churn Out New Crap Every Month. The problem with “hype-artists” is that after they’ve been in the game too long, its the only business model they know. In fact, they’ve built up such a facade online that by turning to anything else, they would literally have to tear down years of carefully constructed bullshit, and admit the truth to themselves. Obviously, that becomes a lot harder after you’re into your late 20s, 30s, or even beyond, which is why guys like Glen are still putting crap up on ClickBank, recycling eBooks and video courses and “nich affiliate” products year after year.

9. Create Artificially Low Supply. Economics 101: When there’s not much demand, the only option you have is to create less supply. Companies like Apple and Nintendo have been doing this for years during new product launches so that pre-order queues and launch hype is maximized (nothing helps sales more than the Wall Street Journal screaming, “Nintendo Wii sold out, factories ‘rushing’ more deliveries.”) The first email you get after signing up for Glen’s Private Inc. list literally says “Please Unsubscribe from the Waiting List” as subsequent emails go on to explain how the team only “accepts” new clients once a month to deal with the massive “demand”… but don’t worry, says Glen, this is not hype!… He is just seriously too busy to accept new customers… except maybe now… or NOW… or… why haven’t you ordered any backlinks yet!? :)

10. Rub Elbows With Well-Knowns. Last but not least, attempt to associate with reputable people in the industry, i.e. Rand Fishkin, on his own website, inbound.org, even just days before you insult him on your own blog. (If that doesn’t work, try shooting the s**t with Brian Dean, or other high profile white-hat SEO guys.) In fact, blatantly copy website features from Pat Flynn’s homepage, since he is your idol, and maybe readers will get confused and think you haven’t made your cash by scamming newbies when they look at your income reports and listen to your Pat Flynn-esque podcast on iTunes.

In conclusion, I humbly implore Mr. Allsopp to return to his “roots” as a down-to-earth marketer, promoting quality products, while keeping in mind the thousands of young webmasters that look up to him. After all, it was his younger self with the best advice:

“Don’t be an internet marketer for the ego. I think at times we all love to share how good we are but it is not about how many visitors you can send but the results you can get from those visitors in terms of subscribers, buying products and clicking on ads. If you want to get in this space because you want to appear like you know it all and get some e-fame then you are wasting your time, but if you really want to help people get traffic to their sites then I fully respect that.” – Glen, 2008

Anyway, so here’s my bet: Without any help from PBNs or black-hat SEO, I’ll rank this article at the top of Google for terms like “Glen Allsopp” and “Glen Allsop” and “Glen Alsopp” and “ViperChill” and “Viper Chill” to prove a simple point:

“Every link I’ve managed to build has come from nothing but: Writing excellent content, Engaging in my niche, Repeating what works.” — Glen, 2009

But don’t take my word for it… I’m just some hack writer with an axe to grind.

Dirty Words: A Brief Review Of The Most Offensive, Suggestive Words In The English Language. Panties.

What do you get when you mix Latin, German, and French, along with a bunch of other linguistic tidbits (eww)? You get the English language of course, one of the most impressively adaptive yet horrifyingly dirty languages in human history.

And when I say dirty, I’m not just talking about your F*CKS, SH*TS, and C*NTS. (English cursing is as good as it gets, but that is best saved for another article.)

The Nasty Nast Of Suggestive English

During my senior year at University of California : Irvine, some friends decided to place a bet on who could most impress our political science professor on their final in-class essay. This guy had been tenured since the days of Henry Kissinger, and was constantly using vocabulary that made political science sound more like Human Sexuality 101. Naturally, then, someone had the retarded idea of seeing who could most eloquently insert (eww) a suggestive word into their final exam. Sounds simple, right?…

Perhaps. Unless of course, the word you had to use was “panties.” That’s right, I had to insert the word panties into my final, in-class political science essay. Nasty nast.

Needless to say, there’s absolutely no possible context in which to appropriately use the word panties while arguing the points of American interventionism in Iran by way of progressive diplomacy and cultural exchange.

So, a few paragraphs into my essay, I simply finished a sentence with a period, followed by the word panties, and then continued writing as normal. It was revolting, and violating, and yet, on some strange level of peculiarity… almost enlightening. (My paper was later returned to me with a big red circle drawn around the word “panties” with a question mark beside it… along with a shining letter “A-” at the very top.)

English Morphology And Expressive Power

Just a few weeks prior, a friend of mine had been shopping at Trader Joe’s market when he happened upon an elderly woman who was browsing red wine, looking like quite the connoisseur. He decided to ask her about one of the reds. “Oo yes, that one is QUITE… titillating,” she replied with a sly grin, before winking at him as she strolled away.

He called me on the phone in a panic, half laughing, and half crying, suffering from what appeared to be a condition similar to PTSD. It would take him months before he got over the image of the winking, titillating old woman who had psychologically scarred him with her abrupt accostment of suggestive English in a public setting.

In the world of linguistics (and computer programming), there is a concept known as “Expressive power” to denote which languages can communicate the widest variety of concepts and ideas. And while the debate continues – with many linguists pointing out the lack of consistent logic in English, etc – the truth remains that English is exceptionally expressive and has evolved more than any language in world history.

Take the word douche for example. Born in Latin as ductus meaning “leading”, it was shuffled into Italian as docciare which means “pouring” or “dripping” and later doccia referring to “piping” or “conduit.” Continue on to the 18th century as French began using douche to mean “shower” and English-speakers began repeating it, despite ALSO having the English word duct which ALSO evolved directly from Latin ductus.

That’s right, b*tch. We’ll take douche… AND ductus too.

Now, according to Google Books’ historic Ngram viewer of word usage, the word douche reached peak usage around 1900. From then on, the word continued to drop in usage, reaching a low point in 1992 that hadn’t been witnessed since the early 1800s.

But wait just a second! you might say. At the turn of the new millennium, around the year 2000, the word douche suddenly started to grow in usage again for the first time after nearly a century of dramatic decline. Da f*ck… you guys?

Thank the internet.

We Will Rock (Your Morphological Typology)

Give us the word douche, and we’ll give you back d*******g. Bam! Compound language. Or perhaps douchebaggery. Pow! Agglutinating language.

Or if we are feeling adventurous, we might make sh*t up on the fly, like when Stephen Colbert announced to a live television audience he had indeed twatted before, as a past participle of tweeting. Zap! Fusional language, with a touch of sarcasm.

While most languages have a variety of morphologies, modern English, spurred on by the rapid growth of the internet and a simple phonetic alphabet – would seem to almost purposefully devour new styles. In turn, our minds connect the invisible dots between various words and expressions, creating an apparent level of dirty connotation and Freudian evocation unseen in other languages. An old lady says titillating, and we think… of titties. When in fact, titillate comes from Latin titillat meaning “tickled”, and tits – referring to breasts or nipples – originated separately from German and Dutch. (Um, that may have just made it worse. By the way, titillating is enjoying record popularity.)

Contrast this complexity with translating d*******g to Chinese – one of the most “isolating” languages in the world – which, after translation, means “evil stick” (LMAO). And while saying (惡棍) in Chinese does apparently have modern connotation – being used in the title of Inglorious Basterds for Chinese audiences, for example – there is a clear lack of etymological depth, and in turn, not much dirtiness.

Listen as Jack Wagner, the original voice announcer at the Disneyland park in California, grammatically dissects the word F*CK on tape, several decades ago:

If you’re truly interested in English linguistic history, here’s a free eBook. But suffice it to say that the bastardized history of English has provided us with serious entertainment.

Dirtiest Words In The English Language

So, what’s a dirty word then? Any word, perhaps, that subtly evokes disgusting, sexual, or otherwise shocking or unpleasant images or associations. Without further ado, here are the most disgusting words in the English language. (Please comment with more.)

anal • anis • angina pectoris • back-hoe • baste • bolus • buboe • bulge • burgle • burst • caress • caucus • cesspool • cleft • chafing (chafe) • chum • clog • cockamamie • cockpit • coitus • concoct • crampon • creamy • crevice • crotch • crusty • cul-de-sac • cumquat • custard • dangle • diarrhea • dipthong • discharge • dongle • douche • dribble • drizzle • Dukakis • ejaculate • excretion • fallacious • finger • flaccid • flagellate • flexible • foist • fondle • fundus • gaping • genitalia (along with all specific types of genitalia) • gesticulate • gurgle • gyrate • hoist • invagination • jam • jiggling • juices • lambaste • limber • limp • loin • lube (lubricate) • luster • manhandle • masticate • matriculate • meat probe wipes • moist • nestle • oblong • ogle (ogling) • ointment • paginate • panties • penetrate • penile • pleasure • poke • pony • pop • poppycock • pouch • prematurely • probe • protrude • pulchritudinous • quiver • receptacle • regurgitate • rigid • rub • sack • saggy (sag, sagging) • saturated • scrofula • secretion (secrete) • shaved lunch meats • sloppy • smear • smegma • snorkel • soggy • spew • splurge • spoon • sprocket • squat (squat-thrust) • squirt • sticky • stroke • succulent • suck • suckle • supple • swallow (swallowed, swallowing) • swollen • taint • taint-squat • taught • tender • tenderloin • throbbing • thrust • tidbits • tight • titillate (titillating) • tutelage • tubercle • undulate • vacillate • wet • whack

Originally published December 18, 2009, as inspired by the original Facebook group.

Dental Insurance: ‘Scam’ Or Not, Why You Probably Don’t Need It And How It Often Leads To Problems

Going to the dentist is a necessity. But dental insurance? Not so much.

Dental insurance is a relatively recent consumer phenomenon that exists primarily in North America. The industry sprang up almost completely overnight due to large American companies who decided to begin offering dental insurance as an extra benefit to their employees, in the hopes of looking more attractive. In fact, Delta Dental is almost single-handedly responsible for creating the dental insurance industry back in the 1960s, when they began partnering with labor unions, military and government organizations, and private corporations, in order to offer dental coverage plans.

In contrast with other developed countries – such as those in Europe – dental insurance in the U.S. is completely separate from health insurance, and is considered an “add-on” benefit that many American employers offer in conjunction with their health insurance, but usually under a different brand. For example, a company may have “group coverage” health insurance for their employees through the Blue Cross / Blue Shield network, and might offer additional dental coverage through an organization like Delta Dental. In many cases, employers offer dentals plans BUT DON’T COVER THEIR COST, meaning that its an out of pocket monthly fee passed on to their employees.

Despite there being no such thing as “vision insurance” or “chiropractic insurance” in existence, the self-created, industry-driven anomaly that is dental insurance continues to grow bigger (and seedier) with each passing year. And unless you’re an MMA fighter, cocaine addict, or have a rather large family, buying dental insurance is almost always a waste of time and money.

Monthly Payments Exceed Typical Costs

Many people have unreasonable expectations of insurance; they believe that by paying into an insurance plan, all of their visits to the doctor, dentist, or otherwise should be free of charge. Not so. The main purpose of insurance is to protect you in case of an emergency which may land you with massive bills – for example, breaking your leg.

Ergo: unless your lifestyle presents serious risks to your oral well-being, 99% of people only need a basic dental cleaning a few times a year, meaning that separate dental insurance is rarely a necessity. In fact, even if you HAD a “dental emergency” the truth is that its probably not even covered by your dental insurance (see more information below). Even the U.S. Senate is contributing to dental insurance alarmism, due to the fact that Medicaid holders do not get dental coverage. Bullsh*t. Even if more people DID get dental insurance, it wouldn’t save most of them any cash at the end of the year because the monthly bills usually exceed out-of-pocket costs…

On average, the maximum annual payouts from dental insurance plans are only $500-2,000 per year, a figure which hasn’t changed since the 1970s. Adjusted for inflation, dental insurance plans should be paying out between $4,000-8,000 a year by now, according to MarketWatch.com. Instead, payouts remain minimal, while typical monthly fees of $30-60 per person add up to $360-720 per year in real costs, yet somehow only tend to cover 2 free basic cleanings each year. Oh, and if you want any “special” dental work done, such as implants, crowns, or other work, dental insurance plans typically won’t even cover those items until a few years into your coverage – and even then, it only covers 50% of certain procedures, OR LESS, in many cases.

Open Invitation For Insurance Fraud

Now, I know what some of you are probably thinking: “Well, maybe dental insurance is a ripoff… but I get it free/cheap from my employer, so I might as well keep it.” But even when insurance is FREE, it invites massive consumer fraud that comes with any other type of insurance. Except, for some reason, dentists seem especially prone to it:

As a clueless young college graduate in California, I myself was a victim of “deep cleaning” fraud. At the time, I had Kaiser Permanente (HMO) health insurance with a Delta Dental add-on coverage package. Scanning the Kaiser online database for an “in-network” dentist, I showed up to their office for a basic cleaning when the dentist convinced me that my gums were unhealthy and that I needed immediate scaling to be done. She assured me that it would be mostly covered by my insurance, and tried to schedule me for a total of 3-4 additional visits to her office. After the 2nd visit, I attempted to ask her what would be done at the 3rd visit. She became angry and shouted at me that she “was done talking to me” and would “see me at my next scheduled appointment.” Well, needless to say, I didn’t return to her office, and soon figured out she was attempting to overbill my insurance plan on root planing procedures that I didn’t even need!

Besides the obvious risks to your own personal health, these shockingly common practices can also have the side effects of exhausting your annual payout limits and increasing your dental premium payments, among several other outrageous situations.

It’s no surprise, therefore, that companies like AFLAC, Delta Dental, and Encore Dental are regularly called out on the internet for their dishonest sales pitches, in which they promise customers things like free dental cleanings, coverage of advanced procedures like crowns and implants, and other false advertising that is ultimately a complete scam.

Finding A Dentist Becomes More Difficult

T. M. Bridgeland, a writer at HubPages who used to work in customer service for dental insurance companies, explains why in the end, finding a dentist is MORE complicated AFTER you have insurance (something I also experienced):

There are lots of details, of course, such as In Network or Out Of Network dentists. In Net means the dentist is under contract not to charge over a certain fee for each service. In Net is usually cheaper. So get your routine work done In Net, and normally you will pay very little or nothing for it. You may also get reduced prices on major work.

Out Of Network dentists’ charges are not controlled by the insurance company or the network. The dentist can charge any price he pleases. Some Out Of Network dentists may actually charge less than the network price, and be cheaper for you than In Network. You have to do your homework before going to the dentist. Find out if he is In Net or Out Of Net, and ask him directly how much it will cost before you go. They don’t like to tell you, but you are the customer. Be polite, but insist. Would you get a haircut if the prices were not marked?

As in the case with many doctors, dentists who have built a business model around getting a stream of customers directly from an insurance network are highly unpredictable as far as quality and honesty goes. And why should they be? They don’t give a damn about customer satisfaction or even Yelp reviews, because they will keep getting more business from being one of the only “in network” dentists in their area.

That is, dental insurance is getting you a dentist who relies less on reputation, is probably charging more for their services than others, and is possibly committing some form of insurance fraud on a regular basis.

Ultimately, it makes more sense in most cases to simply put a few hundred dollars away in a “dentist” fund each year for basic cleanings. Then, find a local dentist with a good reputation and reasonable prices who doesn’t require $500 worth of “mandatory x-rays” before you can get your teeth cleaned.

If you have a large family, or members of your family will be needing braces or significant orthodontic work, however, it may still be worthwhile to check out family dental insurance plans. (As with any medical insurance, watch out for pre-existing conditions, such as missing teeth, that are usually not covered.)

Or better yet, check out one of the many new “dental discount plans” that are popping up all over the place, which typically have a low yearly membership fee in exchange for greatly discounted dental procedures in your area.

Kid Smoking Experiment: How A Young Boy Asking For Cigarettes Makes Smokers Re-think Their Habits

“Can I have a light?” asks a young boy to strangers in Santa Barbara, California.

The boy – a 9-year old known only as ‘Jensen’ – is undercover, mind you. But rather than working with local police as part of a sting operation, he’s the star of the latest public prank video filmed by the /whatever crew on YouTube.

In the video, Jensen is seen approaching various people who are smoking cigarettes in public places, asking them to borrow a lighter. In one case, a man recommends that he visit a nearby drugstore for a “free pack of matches.” But in nearly every other case shown on the piece, the smokers react in shock at his request, and some even attempt to grab his pack of cigarettes away from him.

Though the experiment starts off on a lighter note, it quickly becomes clear there is perhaps a deeper message involved this time around.

“You shouldn’t be smoking,” says one man to the boy. “I started when I was seven years old. I wish I never would have started this, man. Cuz I can’t quit.” Becoming more concerned, he addresses the boy further, “You shouldn’t even have those. In fact, let me have those! You shouldn’t be smoking at all. Period.”

The anti-smoking stunt has already been compared online to this commercial from Thailand that employed a similar child-actor setup, among perhaps numerous others such as the U.S. based TRUTH campaign from the early 2000s.

The prank received a nice boost in attention after Ashton Kutcher shared the video on Facebook. Kutcher, who used to smoke up to 40 cigarettes a day according to some blogs, allegedly stopped his habit with the help of an increasingly popular book by Allen Carr, a self-confessed former chain smoker, called The Easy Way To Stop Smoking.

The /whatever team is a running favorite of CollegeTimes. You can also check our coverage of their Reverse Prostitute prank in Amsterdam and their holiday piece with Santa Claus picking up college chicks. The group often focuses on psychology-oriented social experiments that question the status quo.

Clover Park Technical College : South Hill

Teachers Unions: No Matter How You Try To Slice It, They Are Corrupt, Self-Serving, And Hypocritical

Teachers unions are vile, self-serving rackets, plain and simple.

Despite what public school teachers in the U.S. (and elsewhere) would have you believe, their primary concern is not for “students” when they march, rally, and protest aggressively for higher wages, more benefits, and longer holidays.

In theory, teachers unions offer democratic representation on behalf of thousands of schools, teachers, and students, resisting the sway of local and national governments and powerful corporations – all of which lobby for their own interests.

In practice, however, corrupt union leaders that are hell-bent on influencing political processes by any means possible – and local coordinators that intimidate and harass teachers or politicians that do not fall in line and support union goals – reveal these rather shameful organizations for what they truly are: out of control monstrosities obssessed more with politics than “teaching” that are intent on decreasing teachers’ accountability and increasing their free handouts.

The Pot Calling The Kettle Black

Now, please don’t get me wrong: I am NOT against unions. And before anyone calls me out for blindly linking to the extremely anti-union National Right To Work Committee (above) in order to make a point, please… continue reading.

Is the NRTWC biased toward corporate America? Most definitely. But are millions of Americans abandoning their support for labor unions in recent decades simply because of corporate propaganda? That’s surely a bit delusional, to say the least. Rather, the truth is that Americans overwhelmingly prioritize individual freedom, which is why they often support the idea of unions despite less and less citizens actually joining them.

Teachers unions are not resisting evil corporate forces. In fact, they are so obviously self-serving that creating external enemies to justify their own existence seems to have become a necessity in recent years, which is why “corporations” have become the newly-sung enemy. And even if there was a big bad corporate conspiracy – which I will debunk later – since when did fighting evil with evil become respectable?

Those that follow CollegeTimes know how much we hate for-profit scam colleges and the attempt by Wall Street investors to hijack higher education in order to line their pockets with taxpayer money. But that’s just the thing: corruption and waste are just as shameful regardless of their source, and teachers unions are just as easily guilty of both.

Despite liberal-leaning alarmists arguing that teachers unions are endangered or that right-to-work legislation is destroying the very structure needed to keep unions in existence, the reality is that national teachers unions still wield an extraordinary amount of political power – and that’s not going away anytime soon.

Theoretically Good, Realistically Awful

One of the only cohesive arguments I’ve ever read in support of teachers unions was written by Erik Kain, a writer over at Forbes who usually covers video games, of all things. Cohesive, because Kain is able to present a relatively fair view of the issue supported by specific events – but ultimately, a rather ambiguous stance that lacks realism.

And that’s a recurring theme among supporters of teachers unions: either focusing purely on how corporations are trying to take over public education (an argument which has really only existed at the pre-college level since Common Core standards and charter schools became prevalent), or repeating that unions have historically provided a defense against things like low wages or poor working conditions (an argument which hasn’t really held water for at least half a century). Alternatively, supporters desperately claim things like “teachers unions create more equal opportunity” for poor children to attend college, among other feel-good, two-faced ridiculous arguments.

TL;DR: Never ANY mention of lazy-ass teachers ditching class for the free pizza.

As teachers unions run out of justifiable reasons to exist, the “corporate takeover” of public education has become the new (and only) battle cry. Activists (on tenure) literally argue that education foundations run by the likes of Microsoft and Amazon are only supporting charter schools so that in the future, they can get their education technology products into classrooms and make millions of dollars from young children. Now, I love a good conspiracy theory, but what in the flying f*ck?

As such highly-esteemed educators, how do you ignore the hard data that proves charter schools are not only sending more low-income Americans to college, but are also improving their ability to make healthy life decisions. And not that I have any stake in the matter, but if Bill Gates is such an evil corporate dictator, why did the largest teachers unions aggressively support Common Core, right up until they realized the standardized curriculum could be used to evaluate the quality of teachers?

Even teachers that publicly admit that unions cause serious problems – such as protecting incompetent or even child-molesting teachers from being fired – still seem to think they ultimately deserve more free handouts than other American citizens:

“The elimination of tenure would allow a principal to arbitrarily dismiss a teacher for any reason, even if that teacher is the most skilled and competent in the school. Such reasons might include something as trivial as a mere personality conflict or the adminstrator’s own personal and subjective opinions about the teacher’s performance. Teachers would be afraid to “blow the whistle” on a corrupt principal or administrator for fear of being fired. I can tell you that it would be very difficult for me to give my full attention to teaching the children if I were consistently worrying in the back of my head whether or not I would have a job the next year to pay my bills and support my own kids. Still, the fact remains that tenure does protect some pretty LOUSY teachers, but completely eliminating it would be even more disastrous for our students. I would also suggest that in my exprience, tenure and unions are not the only reasons why so many incompetent teachers remain in the clasroom. Often, the school principal is also to blame by not properly documenting a teacher’s deficiencies, as well as top school district administrators who will not support principals who choose to take steps to have an incompetent teacher dismissed.”

– Casey Gagnon, public school teacher, via Amazon.com

Oh, no! Without unions or tenure, public school teachers would actually have to prove to their colleagues why they are a valuable member of their team? Well Jesus H. Christ, welcome to the real world. And if “blowing the whistle” on illegal conduct is your true concern, you apparently haven’t researched the relevant protection statutes.

Some Of The Dirtiest Politics In America

Teachers unions are among the largest and most powerful unions in the entire country. The National Education Association and the American Federation of Teachers – the two largest, which are both over 100 years old – have spent hundreds of millions of dollars in recent years in contributions to political groups and organizations such as La Raza, and figures such as the Reverand Al Sharpton. The Wall Street Journal reports:

The AFT, which told the Labor Department it had more than 873,000 members last fiscal year, said it is “committed to investing in organizations that share our mission and goals of expanding the middle class, building strong public schools, promoting equality and creating educational and economic opportunities for all Americans.”

The federation added that unions make their contributions public, “unlike big corporations that are able to secretly spend millions on their extreme agenda.” Unions must publicly detail and categorize all expenses annually under rules put in place by President George W. Bush.

The NEA’s advocacy center director, Kim Anderson, said, “Since 1857, the NEA has had a proud history of advocating for social justice and developing programs to help children, the poor and marginalized, and American workers—long before we ever got involved in politics.”

Did you catch that? The NEA and AFT are shamelessly whining to national media that they are forced to disclose their political contributions, before reminding readers that back in the 19th century, unions helped fight for social justice. Got it? Okay good.

And before you I HEART MY TEACHER! well-wishers and Occupy Wallstreeters write this off as a simple-minded tirade with a sensationalized headline, watch this quick video on the workings of teachers unions put together by Evan Coyne Maloney:

In conclusion, if teachers unions were simply an organized attempt at protecting teachers from getting inappropriately fired or overworked, why have they consistently ranked as a top political donor to politicians for the last several decades? Because their goal is to turn the teaching profession into a gravy train career path free of accountability or hard work, with lower expectations and excessive benefits.

As history has shown, labor unions always resist changes in technology and the workplace. But they always lose the fight. Stubborn, enraged, selfishness combined with immoral – and often illegal – behavior is downright shameful, and it’s destroying the quality of America’s education system. But the tide is finally turning, and with it, hopefully the political clout of teachers unions will be a thing of the past.

Lol My Thesis: The Facetious Tumblr Blog Offering Anonymous Online Sympathy To College Students

If you had to sum up your college research in one sentence, what would you say?

That is precisely the question asked by Lol My Thesis, a minimalistic online blog that posts one-sentence synopses of academic accomplishments as submitted by anonymous college students from across the U.S. (and beyond). And in good faith of all that is the internet, these scholarly one-liners are anything but self-patronizing.

Fringe Thesis Topics In Layman’s Terms

The curt, often self-deprecating summaries of academic achievement found on the site provide an intriguingly accurate reflection of the times we now live in; a time in which Millennial college grads find themselves with massive student loan debt, over-educated yet peculiarly under-employed – or more probably, not employed at all.

Launched in December 2013 by Angela Frankel, a senior at Harvard College, the LMT blog has grown tremendously in less than a year. Frankel, who studies Human Developmental and Regenerative Biology, says she initially started the simple project “as a means of procrastination” from her own thesis, in which she researches the “regulation of second heart field progenitor cells in zebrafish.”

Or, as she posted on Lol My Thesis, “I have killed so many fish.”

The project’s been jokingly referred to as the TL;DR of college theses, and earlier this year, Frankel encountered an onslaught of media coverage after the blog went viral among undergraduates, and eventually, graduate and PhD students as well. As of today, a total of 2,640 submissions have been published, from as far away as Poland and Pakistan.

Here’s a quick sampling of the intellectual delights:

No one has any idea what the hell is going on, but it may or may not be motivated by religion.

Political Science, University of California, Berkeley

This one part of some protein sometimes does a thing nobody thought it did, but only at -80 C and under high vacuum. Biological applications questionable.

Chemistry, Brown University

LSD makes people feel weird. Maybe for these reasons.

Experimental Psychology, Oxford

If an orchestra wants to make money, it has to play the Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber stuff of the classical music. Unless you are rich and important like BSO, SFO or NYP, then you can experiment with weird s**t and people still buy your tickets – well, usually old people anyways.

Economics, Williams College

Why did the samurai disembowel himself? To show that he had guts! But seriously, that pun has great symbolic meaning in Japanese.

East Asian Studies / Philosophy, Columbia University

Oh God Kill Me Now Why Did I Ever Choose to Linguistically Analyze Argentinean Cowboy Epic Poetry from the 1870s

Spanish, Truman State University

I wanted to write about hipsters, but my major was in Medieval Studies, so instead I wrote 60 pages about beat poets.

Interdisciplinary Studies, Gettysburg College

With a sarcastic, jaded bite that perhaps runs prevalent among internet-age netizens, LMT can get admittedly depressing the longer you click the ‘random‘ button.

“The thesis writing process can be extremely isolating and produce a lot of self-doubt along the way,” Frankel told USA Today. “You work on one project for so long and oftentimes people speak with their advisers fairly infrequently. You may feel you’re behind or that your project is not living up to others. On the blog, you see other people are experiencing similar challenges or having similar doubts.”

Although, perhaps “doubts” is an understatement.

Campus Explorer Attempts To Coerce CollegeTimes Into Compliance Contract For For-Profit Colleges

PHOTO: This shady, unmarked office building in Santa Monica, California is the headquarters location of Campus Explorer at 2850 Ocean Park Blvd. The lack of transparency at their headquarters seems to reflect a larger corporate culture of deceit, fraudulent student recruiting, and promotion of for-profit colleges.

If you are one of the people that innocently believe the internet has brought more transparency and consumer protection to the American economy, this story’s for you.

See also: College Reviews: 18 Websites With Online Ratings Written By Real University Students And Alumni

Last week, investor-backed Campus Explorer from California contacted CollegeTimes to inquire about advertising. In and of itself, a completely normal happening – that is, until they demanded that we sign a compliance contract protecting their for-profit college “clients” from things like unapproved content (criticism) and traffic sources.

Whoa, what?

Note: the contract is publicly available at this URL.

Big Business Of Student Lead Generation

As the Explorer team were quick to point out, “contract negotiation” is a normal thing in the business world. True. But what’s not normal is pretending to be a website that helps high school students discover the college that best matches their interests, when your real goal is aggressively pushing them into unaccredited, for-profit scam colleges – and then shopping around for bloggers to help you with that mission.

For several years, I had been under the impression that Campus Explorer was something of a mixed bag in the ‘higher education industry’ of America. I believed (erroneously) that their business model revolved mainly around scholarships and financial aid services, lacking the vast corruption of similar companies (i.e. College Prowler).

I was wrong. Here’s a quote from the Explorer team:

“We were initially fine with [CollegeTimes], but once we discovered the UGC [User Generated Content] and numerous negative reviews of our partner [for-profit] schools, it became something we just couldn’t participate in.” – Campus Explorer via email

Pushing for a clarification, I told Explorer that I had noticed in CollegeTimes’ traffic logs that their staff had only browsed campuses currently owned by Corinthian Colleges, Inc. (facing mass lawsuits from the federal government for committing fraud) and the University of Phoenix (currently on accreditation probation). “Are those the only types of colleges that Campus Explorer recommends to their visitors?” I asked via email, “because somehow nearly every for-profit college in your database has zero negative reviews or is blocked from accepting reviews.”

In short, the Explorer team unashamedly confirmed that providing for-profit colleges with student leads is in fact their biggest purpose, and that censoring negative reviews of for-profit college profiles on their own website and on those of their publishing partners is part of their business model:

“…we are required to protect the brands we represent (pay us for leads and clicks), just as any traffic/lead generator would. Our business model at the moment is focused primarily on for-profit schools, although we do send leads to traditional schools at no charge… In the process of doing our due diligence, we discovered that this wouldn’t be something we could sustainably engage in, so we decided to back away. If we were guilty of anything here in regards to this relationship, it was being overzealous, and not thoroughly researching the content of your pages before we began the IO process; for that I apologize.”

The sales rep, and her supervisor that chatted with us for the past week, were extremely courteous and I’m not going to mention their names. Clearly, they weren’t aware that CollegeTimes hates for-profit colleges before they contacted us. But when I finished by saying that I noticed they were partnered with StudentsReview – the only other major college review site that is NOT controlled by corporate investors, and who ALSO does not censor negative reviews of for-profit colleges – they seemed at a loss for words:

“In regards to Studentsreview, we will dig into this matter. If they indeed have those negative reviews, we’ll need to make the necessary adjustments.”

Update 10/5/2014: Campus Explorer appears to have pulled all of their advertising from StudentsReview.com after the CollegeTimes team pointed out that their site also accepts negative student reviews of for-profit colleges.

It’s official: corporate America has no shame.

To Those Working At Lead-Gen Companies

Now, do I really believe that the sales rep and her supervisor (who I’m not going to out, because they were just doing their job), had some wicked secret plan to take down CollegeTimes after we signed some compliance contract? Of course not.

But in an age of fine print and lawsuits, it sure presents an interesting case. Take, for the example, the possibility that Campus Explorer decided to file a lawsuit due to breach of contract in an attempt to get negative student reviews taken down from CollegeTimes. Sound far fetched? Not when you consider the half-dozen for-profits that have already sued or threatened to sue our team.

Lead generation is not an inherently immoral business by any means. On the other hand, lead generation for unaccredited for-profit colleges that commit rampant fraud, waste billions of dollars of taxpayer money, while paying off public officials to play along, all the while screwing over millions of students, most definitely IS.

And based on all the low-income black people leaving mixed reviews of Explorer on Facebook – not to mention their shady, unmarked headquarters office (seen above) located in Santa Monica – it would seem that their executive team is well aware of the lack of value they bring to society with their current business model.

Or, as one of their former employees put it:

“There seemed to be a company held view that people worked hard to get in management, therefore they should be allowed to do whatever they want… they seemed to expect something from lower employees that they were not doing themselves, and did not provide the best example for lower employees to follow.” – former Campus Explorer employee

It would seem Campus Explorer feels the same way about college admissions.

Update 4/19/2015: After yet another former Campus Explorer employee commented to both CollegeTimes (below) and GlassDoor that serious corruption, harassment, and “fudged numbers” were a part of the corporate culture, it appears that management has decided to spam multiple “positive” reviews of the company in reaction. This comes just a few months after Campus Explorer acquired Vantage Media’s education business in a secret deal, the latest in a string of venture capital transactions involving the company.

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