Pirates II: Stagnettis Revenge

Jesse | Apr 25, 2009

Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge is self-proclaimed as the most expensive pornographic film ever with an estimated million-dollar budget. Yes, this is for a porno.

Although there is an R-rated version available, without the porn this movie could be mistaken as the next “Pirates of the Caribbean.”

I need to clarify exactly how innovative a film of this medium has become. In addition to being available in a three-disk DVD set priced at $70 – or Blu-Ray, if preferred – an original music soundtrack can also be purchased or pirated, as well.

As with any good reviewer, I had to check out the original before reviewing the sequel. For the large majority of the readers who have not seen the original, fret not, because the storylines are nearly identical.

Captain Edward Reynolds (Evan Stone) and his first mate Jules Steele (Jesse Jane) are on a quest to take down the most feared pirate of the sea, Captain Eric Victor Stagnetti (Tommy Gunn). Sound familiar?

On their journey, Reynolds and Steele attempt to take down Stagnetti by whatever means necessary, whether that be sword fighting, cannon ball battles or, if all else fails, a little sexual favor can always be arranged.

Along with our main characters comes a list of at least a hundred extra actors from such roles as Governor Lyttelton or Slave Girl Anne. As to be expected, the acting was not exactly up to par with the likes of Depp or Knightley, but this only made it that much better.

The million-dollar budget was clearly put to good use, as well. Costumes, makeup, set design and location were as authentic looking as any Hollywood-budget film out there.

The dialogue is truly funny at times partly because of the actual humor and partly due to the fact that when a building is burning down and the only way to get out is via sex, where can you go wrong with that logic? And there in lies even more hilarity, as director Joone manages to find plausible reasons for every ridiculous sexcapade.

For the first “Pirates,” the crew had to rent out the HMS Bounty on grounds that they were shooting a PG-13 version of a “Disney-type pirate film for families” in order to shoot the film without conflict. According to The New York Times, a consultant instructed the cast on proper ship etiquette so everyone could get into full character. The film has even been shown at a couple college campuses across the U.S. such as the University of California and the University of Maryland.

So as you can see, a lot of time, effort, and bodily fluids went into the making of this film. If nothing else, I can respect the direction of filmmaking that the porn industry is headed in. “Stagnetti’s Revenges” is currently available on DVD and receives an 6/10.