Lasting Longer In Bed: 10 Proven Methods That Work, From Mental Games To Flexing Your Pubococcygeus
In the vast world that exists under the covers, perhaps nothing is so misunderstood as premature ejaculation – a condition where, in the simplest of terms, certain men have trouble lasting very long in bed. It is the butt of an endless onslaught of jokes and the cause of just as many worries, as millions of guys around the world lose evermore confidence with each new “sexual enhancement” drug that is released.
- See Also: 10 Great Reasons Not To Have Sex – From K.I.D.S. To Health Reasons, Consider These Before You Dabble
You wanna know the truth? Nearly every guy, at some point in his life, has struggled with or worried about lasting longer while making love.
I first wrote this article back in 2009 to cover a hot topic that not very many writers were willing to cover. To my surprise, approximately 50% of the users coming to this page over the past few years have been WOMEN and not MEN. Turns out, guys are so self-conscious about this issue that their ladies end up worrying about it too. But in a large number of cases (and Google searches), ladies seem to be researching solutions out of shame, or guilt – NOT because they are upset or disappointed with their beau.
“How can I help my boyfriend last longer in bed?” is one of the most popular search terms bringing users to this page. For that reason, I decided to re-write this article a bit. (In the latest version, you’ll find a bit more information for the ladies.)
Background On Premature Ejaculation
As explained on Wikipedia, premature ejaculation is a broad term that many doctors and specialists consider to exist when a man reaches climax before his sexual partner does in more than 50% of their bedroom encounters. PE has also been described (somewhat erroneously) as occurring if a man reaches climax within two minutes of penetration; however, a survey by Alfred Kinsey in the 1950s demonstrated that up to three quarters of men in the world usually reach climax within two minutes. Of course, with pharmaceutical companies spending $3 billion per year on advertising, not to mention the sexual overload of modern pop culture, it’s no wonder that “lasting longer” is a practically daily concern for so many people now. In any regard, most sex therapists these days simply understand premature ejaculation to be occurring whenever a lack of control interferes with the “well-being” of one or both romantic partners. Wow!
Again, here’s the point: Nearly all men have “suffered” from some form of poor bedroom performance at some point, if they are sexually active. It’s not something to be ashamed about, and in fact, its quite normal most of the time. And, ladies, at no point should you ever feel that you’ve “failed” as a woman or lover. That being said, there are some simple – yet rather helpful – tips that anyone can try, in order to last a bit longer:
Common Methods For Lasting Longer
1. Squeeze your penis. Perhaps the most practical tip around. If you squeeze your penis just below the head during bedroom activity (you may have to, you know, pull out for a minute), you can significantly reduce blood flow, which is the main cause of over-stimulation. Plus, the head of the penis is the most sensitive part, in general – all the more reason for this approach. Simply squeeze gently for a good 5-30 seconds (or however much time you can spare). Use the downtime for something less stimulating, i.e. kissing. Ladies: if your man becomes sensitive easily, you can also take control by pulling him out every so often and squeezing his Johnson for him just below the head with 2-3 fingers. Obviously, this shouldn’t be done in such a way that ADDS stimulation, i.e. no grab-and-jack.
2. Think disgusting thoughts. Definitely not practical, but hey, it really works for some guys. Look down and imagine you are sticking it in Quasimodo or something. I don’t know, you decide. Anything that makes you want to throw up and is a complete turn-off. Ladies: this is probably NOT one of the methods you could/should help with…
3. Cause pain to your body. Okay let’s qualify this: cause pain to your body somewhere else besides your shlong. For the record, this is also a good way to pass a polygraph test – causing pain during “true” answers increases blood flow to the body – thus, increased blood flow that occurs during “lies” appears to be at normal levels. The concept is the same for genital stimulation: causing pain to another area of the body distracts your brain to focus on the most urgent matter at hand, which is ALWAYS pain. Biting your tongue is usually a favorite strategy, and easy to accomplish under the sheets (or at the police station). Ladies: again, this is probably not one you should help with – in worst case scenarios, your man has been secretly craving a round of S&M and causing him pain might actually get him off!
4. Only go tip deep. Recall Vince Vaughn’s monologue in Wedding Crashers where he proposes playing “a little game called ‘just the tip’ … just for a second!”:
“Janice, I apologize to you if I don’t seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don’t like the feeling. You’re sitting there, you’re wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I’m not really interested, should I play like I’m interested but I’m not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she’s not interested? So all of the sudden I’m getting, I’m starting to get interested… And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it’s awkward, it’s like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you’re trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don’t kiss them at all? It’s very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you’re just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called ‘just the tip’. Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you’re on my hair.” — Jeremy Grey, Wedding Crashers
“Just the tip” shouldn’t require much explanation. After you are well into a passionate go, taking a break from the deeper action is wise – perhaps even mandatory – if you don’t want to finish too soon. As a bonus, your madam will also probably appreciate the change-up as it has the ability to “reset” some of her own areas of stimulation. Obviously, it may take some practice to find an… angle? depth? that feels good to her while still giving him a pause from the drilling. Ladies: this is a perfect place for you to help out, as most guys think that pounding away at you like a jackhammer is what girls want. Kindly suggest (or better yet, simply maneuver) a “shallower” approach from time to time.
5. Slow. Down. A simple tip, but it’s one that everyone forgets when the lights go out. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Not only is going in “deep” severely overrated, but rapid-fire gunnery is as well. Don’t worry boys – unless you signed a contract recently for a reality TV show without knowing it, there shouldn’t be anyone outside of your partner judging your libido. There’s probably a time and place for speed demons in the bed; as your relationship grows and your skills improve, these times and places will become more obvious to you. In the meanwhile, you are trying to figure out how to last longer – and slowing down is not only more romantic to most girls, but sets the stage for endurance as well. It becomes a bit of a mental game as the minutes tick onward, so show some self-control and work on your pace. Ladies: you know what to do.
Popular suggestion from readers: practice masturbating alone, but stop before you are going to climax. Then, repeat. Such a cycle can help you develop a physical – and psychological – stamina when it comes time for the real thing.
6. Take some sort of break. Let’s be honest: one of the main reasons why so many guys worry about their stamina is because they’re spending so much time fapping to porn clips on the web. In other words, guys notice that Fabio can last for nearly 45 minutes (!) in that latest Jenna Jameson video, and start to believe that its normal behavior. In fact, however, if you cut out the 20 minutes of slap and tickle in the beginning of most adult “performances” – and factor in the Viagra and Caverject injections that some guys take before the shooting begins – the truth begins to emerge. On top of that, you’ll notice quite a few camera angle changes and tricks; for example, the crew may stop filming for a minute here and there to take still shots (photography). In some scenes, i.e. doggystyle medleys, the male actor isn’t even inside her at all (this stunt is also used in many Hollywood blockbusters with A-list stars who can’t – or won’t – do the real thing). So stop beating yourself up, men. Fabio’s other secret is that he takes frequent “breaks” whenever he becomes over-stimulated – whether it be “going down” on her for a minute, changing positions, grabbin’ a BJ here and there, and what not. Ladies: one of the best ways you can help out. If your guy forgets to take breaks, give one to him. Yes, that was a euphemism.
7. Clear the tubes beforehand. If you don’t want to be a minuteman on a big date, or screw up a romantic night with your woman, then it never hurts to unload your gun before you go out – and it usually helps you last longer later on. There is really no better way to illustrate this point than quoting from There’s Something About Mary:
Dom: You choke the chicken before any big date, don’t you? Tell me you spank the monkey before any big date. Oh my God, he doesn’t flog the dolphin before a big date. Are you crazy? That’s like going out there with a loaded gun! Of course that’s why you’re nervous. Oh my dear friend, please sit, please. Look, um, after you’ve had sex with a girl, and you’re lying in bed with her, are you nervous? No, you’re not, why?
Ted: Cause I’m tired…
Dom: Wrong! It’s ’cause you ain’t got the baby batter on the brain anymore! Jesus, that stuff will f**k you’re head up! Look, the most honest moment in a man’s life are the few minutes after he’s blown his load – now that is a medical fact. And the reason for it is that you’re no longer trying to get laid, you’re actually… you’re thinking like a girl, and girls love that.
Here’s an easier way of saying it: don’t bring blue balls to the bedroom. And a quick disclaimer – if you are going to clear the tubes, make sure you have at least a few hours to regenerate the dumbbells. The last thing you want is a limp sausage on a big night.
8. Practice flexing your pubococcygeus. This is probably the best kept sex secret in the entire universe. Both men and women have what are commonly referred to as Kegel muscles, named after Dr. Arnold Kegel. These are the muscles that you squeeze when you are trying to stop peeing or pooping mid-stream. It’s extremely difficult for most males (and females) to stop peeing, because we never practice flexing these muscles. If you can build up strength and control of these muscles, however, not only can you learn to “hold in” your ejaculation for longer, but you can also have larger ejaculations (that, as a side benefit, also shoot farther) because you will be able to blast more semen out of your system. Blowing your load with force – now THAT has some serious primal benefit. Not only so, but rumor has it that some guys have learned to jack themselves off using only their Kegel muscles. That is crazy stuff. Ladies: this exercise is of just as much benefit to you as it is to men. Turns out, excercising your Kegel muscles can help tighten the vagina, and even help you perform Pompoir (a.k.a. “playing the flute” or “the Singapore grip”).
9. Alcohol. More of an inaccurate home remedy more than anything else. Alcohol DOES indeed often help men last longer in bed, but the reasoning is somewhat backwards logic. Ever since magic elixirs like wine, beer, and whiskey were discovered by mankind, they’ve been used to numb pain and kill bacteria, among many other sorts of things. Alcohol not only numbs the body’s senses, but it also significantly thins the blood (lowers pressure). Therefore, drinking alcohol before sex often decreases feelings of stimulation, and indirectly helps men “last longer” because they cannot achieve an otherwise typical erection. The effects tend to differ greatly between various men – not to mention the health issues associated with regular alcohol consumption. Tread carefully in experimenting with this solution, as it may breed more negative than positive results.
Alternative (healthier?) solution suggested by readers: WEED.
10. If all else fails… “those” drugs. I’d rather not suggest it, but with millions of men around the world using drugs like Cialis and Viagra to obtain harder, longer-lasting erections, this option needs to be mentioned. As in most cases, medicine should be used as a last resort as it usually puts additional strain on internal organs like the liver and kidneys (as does alcohol, of course). There IS however, a major side effect to these drugs: as with alcohol, “penis drugs” can often decrease genital sensitivity. So, even though you might be sporting a massive boner and feeling pretty good about yourself, you may end up not feeling very much of what goes down. And now, with brands trying to obtain permission to sell these drugs over-the-counter without a prescription, they will probably be much easier to obtain. Lastly, please keep in mind that most of the “NATURAL POTION!” products you see for sale at 7/11 to increase libido or “shoot farther!” are merely gimmicks, and should be avoided, unless you like wasting money on ginseng and crap like that.
Update 6/1/2014: Article significantly re-written. First published 3 November, 2009.
Maybe the article writer had some cheap stuff or something.
It’s worked for me over and over again.
Use it with these other tips would presumably work better.
Older men do not on average “last longer”, unless you mean orgasm climaxing. The reason is, when you get older you tend to NOT get it as much so your stamina and other sexual related functions go down to a level where you can still follow the biological imperative of reproduction so 5 minutes or so and youve blasted.
Now, of course as selfish mammal apes that’s not gonna fly, especially for our partners so we have to use these methods.
please I wanna know if it is normal…… thanks.
Get some lidocaine cream. Rub a little on 30-45 min prior to the act. Wipe off excess with warm water.
Have fun.
Oh..you can get the cream over the counter at most pharmacies.
kept reading articles like this and eventually found this free course in the comments that helped me last all night … https://goo.gl/4dxcIR — saved it and I know this can help you.
Hope this helps some of you,
https://lastlongerinbed.co.nf/this-3-easy-tricks-can-help-you-last-longer/
Share your opinion if you know some other resources with great tips!
Natural ingredients works wonders!! Highly reccomend
with my ex he would last for about 4minutes but With my current boyfriend he can take 10 on his first round and i would like to know why
Goes down on me and kisses my neck and sucks on my nipples. All my senses are alert so when I orgasm from his tongue he puts himself inside me and im practically coming again from the sensitivity. Hair pulling spanking and light choking help get me there faster too. The faster he makes me cum the less he will worry about finishing early.
call my line,,,+2330549669316
Goodluck guys!
Okay I cant help answer to everyone’s question. But I will type in general and random. Girls who really love their guy and want him to last longer. I recommend to ask on his fetish of what he love or want to do. Trust me this will help later on. First you gotta plan how you want to help him and also because to satisfy yourself. Duuhh.
Give him a BJ get him off first and tell him its really okay first is fast and u like it. Then for example his fetish is footjob use it on the next round to get him up. It will be 2 times easier to keep applying on his fetish to get him up again and again after a cum.
You can also do the squueze pis tip trick like what it says on this site.
Second I recommend using dick sleeve. Its like a condom but shape like a dick and some have different textures too. Go search it out. You can use that on maybe on the first round also. And for girls dont fake orgasm if u did orgasm your pussy will pulse by itself like you can feel few contractions by itself. If u keep faking it you are not helping your guy, yeh make him turn off by a bit by telling him than help him and be straight and introduce him the penis sleeve. And underdstand how he can go again and again. Remember fetish is a strong thing.
FOR GUYS
If u wanna make her cum yea its true that it is not a race. You dont need to be worrying about your penis size too. If she asking you about this than she is not good in bed and also I dont think she know what is multiple orgasm. He is just asking too much. So anyway it is all about knowing the girl and how her body works. As we know women is more on the feeling and biggest thing is their mind and how u make her imaginations run wild before you start whereby we are more on sight to be stimulated.
Let her blow you first and till you cum. Then go tease her lick her spine from her neck till her ass and legs like every single inch. Than next hmm I dont need to teach about doing her ears and breast and nipples too you should know that. Remember all this needs to be done in slow and normal speed. Massage her boobs and inner thigs helps to stimulate her too. Its all about makaing her feel more and more non stop. Than lick her pussy slowly tease her. And lick her clit while fingering straight or do the g-spot fingering. Remember do this while licking her and sucking on her pussy gently depends on how hard she can take it. COMMUNICATE!
Next for tools i can recommend is magic wand vibrator. She dont nee to fake orgasm anymore. By the 4th round im sure your dick is indeed lack of you cumming but hey try this. Put the magic wan on her clit and put your dick inside her dont move. When she is going to orgasm you can feel her cumming and going crazy orgasming whole your dick is inside feeling her pulse and pulse. While she is cuming than you move your dick and start fucking her all together (remember magic wand still on her clit area find the nice spot that she feels better). I bet she will never forget the feeling in her whole life. And she love you crazy on bed.
Email me if you want any advise or anything you want to share :)
[email protected]
Pull out if you have to ..think about making the b***h come first..
2- Bj help a lot, while she is doing it, concentrate your kegel muscle which is like you re tightening your butt, so you do not bust first touch, at some point you should not feel any climax or ejaculation ready to shoot out, you will feel that you re ready to last.
3- go down on her too, which will prepare the way and put her on the same level as you.
4- find 3 main hotspots : lick inside of her ears( this is unhealthy but can be crazzzzzzzy good feeling) her breast, and under her breasts which is mainly on the bone, suck softly on it, warning she will go wild.
5- penetrate slowly: do be too fast you will humiliate yourself, calm down it s not a race, when you have the tiniest feeling you ll ejaculate, stop, kiss her, tell her that you love her, ask her if she is enjoying it so far. or get your d*k out let her grad it and rub it on her clit( she will go wild) meanwhile you re getting it together, and there you go she will bust it before you.
TELL HER BILLY SENT YA.
My previous one would take up to 45min to an hour to cum… and now my current one cums super quick and I am mostly not satisfied.. I hope these work.
The penis is muscle, and most of us simply don’t train it. If you are lifting weights, if you are building stamina running 10 miles, then add 20-30 minutes daily doing kegels, and masturbate focusing on you and your breathing, instead of porn or the girl. It’s that simple.
1. Get the girl on the top and let her play.
2. Do not think too much about sex.
3. Do not let the girl touch the sex at the begiing.
4. But when it is about to come let squeees the testicanls (2balls) heavily till you get ache.
5 let her bit you.
On the other hand, though, porn and romance movies/novels have screwed things up to no end. Through porn, men have been conditioned to believe that a woman wants an 8″ (or bigger) dick plowing into her like a jackhammer for nearly an hour and that a woman is open to anything. Through romance movies/novels, women have been conditioned to believe that sex consists of love and tenderness (which it can, but it’s not a requirement), as well as hours of sex with that same 8″ dick that brings her to an earth-shattering orgasm and only THEN does the man come. This is so disproportionate to real life that it’s no wonder men look at sex as a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am affair while being secretly disappointed because they’re not as big as the guys in porn while women are openly disappointed with the lack of pleasure, size, their general distaste for sex (the rare sex loving woman notwithstanding).